“New guy?”
“Not exactly.”
I’ve never felt so backed into a corner. I’m seriously hating life right now.
Jules curls her thick blond hair behind her ear on one side, exposing her gold loop earring. “Soph, what is it? You look like you’re in pain.”
“You love me no matter what, right?” I swipe some of the salt from the rim of my margarita glass with my finger.
“Yes …” She draws out her answer while squinting at me.
“I’m in a bit of a pickle.” My nose crinkles. I do not want to tell her this, but I have to tell someone, and I’d rather eat my own hand than tell my family.
“A pickle?”
“So … you know how I said that Jimmy was going back to school after he sold his mom’s house and that we were going to take a break as soon as he found his own place so he could focus on school and spend as much time as possible with his mom?”
Jules offers a slow nod.
Pinching my lower lip, I draw in a brave breath of air. “I sort of lied about that.”
“About which part?”
Covering my face with my hands, I mumble, “All of it.”
“What are you talking about? What does that mean? You’re still with him? Or he’s not going to school?”
“Jules …” I clear the whininess from my throat and choke on my pride. “After I let Jimmy move in, after everyone warned me that it was a bad idea, and I swore that I knew what I was doing, that I was right and everyone else was wrong …”
“Sophie, don’t say it.” She winces.
“After Jimmy moved in, I realized I didn’t love ‘at home’ Jimmy. He didn’t help around the house. Dirty clothes everywhere. He never put dishes in the dishwasher. Toilet seat left up with piss everywhere. Shoes on my coffee table. Just … everything! It all eviscerated my attraction to him. And every time I mentioned anything, he just rolled his eyes and said, ‘It’s a house, Sophie. You’re supposed to live in it, not treat it like a goddamn museum.’ The romance died. He became this charity case that I started resenting. He stopped trying to be romantic. Sex became this foregone conclusion that since we shared a bed, sex was a given.”
“So …”
I frown. “So I made up the story about him going to college because I didn’t want everyone thinking that I, yet again, fell for the wrong guy and let him take advantage of me. I was so adamant that I knew what I was doing, that Jimmy was different.”
“Okay. I see that. And you’re right, instinctually I want to say, ‘I told you so.’ Just like your family would say the same thing. But it is what it is. You have terrible taste in men. You make terrible decisions when it comes to men. I think that’s been well established. That’s on you. Your life. Your choices. It only affects you. And Jimmy’s gone. Who cares what the details were surrounding it? You have to let it go. What your family doesn’t know about the past won’t hurt them.”
I feel an inch tall, not even. “Jimmy’s not exactly gone.”
“Not exactly gone?”
“Um …” I fiddle with my napkin. “I had it all planned out. But on the very day I was going to break up with him, he lost his job.”
Jules pinches the bridge of her nose. “And let me guess, you didn’t break up with him.”
“He was really distraught. He had this mini breakdown. All upset about his mom having to go into assisted living. He went on and on about his terrible father who left them years ago. Then he started getting down on himself for never finishing college. And I couldn’t. I thought it might be best to let him get into a better mental state. Find a new job. Find a place of his own. After all, like I told everyone, I didn’t offer to let him live with me because we were dating; it was because he had to sell his house … well, his mom’s house. And he needed a temporary place to stay.”
“He’s still living with you, and you haven’t broken up with him? How did I not know this?”
Maintaining a permanent cringe, I shake my head. “It’s … I’ve just … I don’t talk about it because it’s disgraceful. So I finally got the nerve to break up with him, stand my ground, and he rejected my ‘proposal’ to break up. His ridiculous word, of course. He blamed my upcoming period, which isn’t upcoming at all. Then he went on and on about some thirty-day shit. And now his mom has him believing that we just need to work it out. He won’t leave. He’s in denial. I gave him a week. I told him I’m calling the cops if he’s not out. Then he made me feel like I’m kicking him out onto the street.”