She eyes me with distrust. “I don’t care how sexy he is. I don’t care how much you dream of finding your prince. He’s not the one. Now is not the time.”
With a tight smile, I nod. “Yep. I know.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
“Where have you been? I made dinner, and now it’s cold.” Jimmy grills me from my sofa the second I open the front door.
“I had dinner with Jules.”
“And you didn’t have the decency to call?”
It takes a minute for my fisted hand to uncurl, releasing my keys onto the narrow entry table. They scrape along the wood like Jimmy’s words along my last nerve.
“We broke up. You are not welcome here, yet there you are … adding another layer of dried sweat and body oil to my sofa, eating my food, and watching my TV. I asked you to leave, but you’re too selfish and childish to do it without being physically removed from the premises. So that’s what I’m going to do. In the meantime, my whereabouts is none of your business.”
“We didn’t break up, Sophie.”
“You are—” Just as I start to unleash on him again, my phone vibrates. I stare at the unknown number for a few seconds before answering it. I don’t care who it is. At this point, I’ll talk to a telemarketer for the next hour. Anything that doesn’t involve Jimmy.
“Hello?”
“Hi. It’s Shep.”
Nope. This is not good. He shouldn’t be calling me. I’m off men, off drugs, off alcohol, excess caffeine …
Jimmy fades away. I snap my fingers, and Cersei jumps off the sofa and follows me to my bedroom. “Shep. Shep. Shep. Why does that name sound familiar?”
“Cute. But I can actually hear the smile on your face. Nice try.”
He’s not wrong, but I wish he were. I have no business smiling because of any man. “What are you wearing—doing?!! I mean doing. What are you doing?” I pinch my eyes shut. I can’t believe I asked what he’s wearing. Maybe he didn’t hear me.
“Fishnet stockings. A black lace thong. And a Spanx bodysuit,” he says in a deep, rich voice.
I snort, cupping a hand over my mouth “Pretty fancy for a Wednesday, don’t ya think?”
“Pretty nosey for a first conversing date, don’t you think?”
“It’s not a date.” I roll onto my side and pet Cersei. “I’m not sure why you’re calling me. Do you think using my phone number for personal reasons violates … something?”
I have no clue.
“Good question. I’m not a lawyer. What’s your take on it? Should I hang up? Do you think asking about my current clothing situation violated me? I’m on the fence. I mean, it was rather forward, but I’m a sucker for curiosity so there’s that.”
As I fight my grin, I’m relieved that he can’t see me.
“Well, I don’t know. But if this is your way of pursuing me, then I’m not interested.”
“Interested in what? I’m not selling anything. We’re just conversing like two normal humans. But if you’re not a converser, then I’ll hang up.”
Who is this guy? My teeth pin my lower lip to keep from giggling.
“What do you want to converse about?” I surrender, a little, because his utter strangeness has piqued my curiosity. We are going nowhere, but now I’m wondering how we get to nowhere.
“Tell me what you were doing when I called you.”
“I’d rather discuss hemorrhoids, tax audits …”
“That bad, huh?”
I laugh. “That bad.”
“Vibrator battery go dead on you?”
I snort. “Funny, but no. I have a backup.”
“Fascinating. Tell me more.”
“Should I be worried that a guy I met days ago at the pet store is calling me to talk about vibrators? Feels a little stalker-ish.”
“Again, you asked what I was wearing. I’m just following your lead.”
I can’t help but laugh. For a guy who has zero chance with me, he’s persistent. Sadly, I find his persistence a needed distraction from my problems.
“What do you want to talk about?”
I’m tempted to say “nothing” since I’m not the one who called him. “Is Shep short for Shepherd?”
“Yes.”
“What time do you walk your dogs in the morning when it’s over a hundred degrees by nine?”
“Four.”
“Shut up! You do not walk your dogs at four in the morning.”
He laughs. “I do. I walk them at four. Exercise at five. Shower at six on the weeks that I have them.”
“The weeks that you have them?”
“I have shared custody with my ex-wife.”
“Shared custody of dogs? Is that a thing?”
“It’s very much a thing.”
“Well, that explains why your marriage failed.”
“What does?”
“You walk your dogs at four in the morning. I could never marry someone who routinely woke up at four in the morning.”
“Why?”
I shake my head even though he can’t see me. “Because he’d wake me up. I have a terrible time getting back to sleep if I wake up early in the morning. I’d be chronically sleep deprived and incredibly cranky all the time.”