My nose scrunches. “Yeah. It’s like two big steps forward and fifty steps backward. He doesn’t leave the bedroom. I set food just inside the door. He eventually eats a few bites, and later I replace it with the next meal. And Cersei … Jules, I swear Cersei feels his grief because she spends all her time with him. All day and all night. I have to drag her out for walks. She hasn’t been eating well either.”
“Jesus.”
I nod, sucking on my water straw.
“When’s the funeral?”
“No funeral. She was cremated. I don’t think she has friends or family beyond Jimmy and her sister who can’t get off work to come be with Jimmy or get the remains because she visited right before his mom died.”
“What a shit show.”
“It’s sad. I mean, my family is far from perfect. But we’re there for each other.”
“Not true. No one went home for Prince Harry’s funeral.”
I grin. “True. I’m a terrible daughter.”
“How was California?”
My cheeks puff out as I hold a big breath for several seconds before blowing it out in one big whoosh. “Unexpected.”
Her eyebrows lift a fraction. “Unexpected good or unexpected bad? Did your dad love Shep?”
“Yes. Of course. Everyone loves Shep. But I had to keep the pregnancy a secret, which is hard to do when they’re used to me downing bottles of wine on my visits. There was a forced cleanse. The most embarrassing GI issues in the history of mankind. A terrible game of golf. Incredibly intimate sex. And a pregnancy confession.”
Jules opens her mouth, but nothing comes out.
“My dad and Taryn don’t know about the baby, but I had to tell Shep.”
“Was he mad?”
“Mad? No. I don’t think so anyway. Definitely surprised. I think he’s not sure where that leaves us. And that should be fine. I wasn’t going to let things with him go on forever. But after the Jimmy fiasco, I broke down and called Shep, basically begging him to keep being my friend. So we’re meeting at the park with the dogs tomorrow. And honestly, I’m feeling stupid for being so weak and calling him.”
Jules eyes me for a few seconds, a cheesy grin on her face. “Incredibly intimate sex, huh?”
I shake my head. “Just my luck. My sister and her husband knock me up and weeks later I meet the guy.”
“I think you’re forgetting that he could be Jimmy in a prettier package. Jimmy was the shit until he moved into your house.”
I sigh. “Shep’s different.”
“Jimmy was different.”
I frown. “I know. Shep wanted kids; when he was married, he really wanted kids. His wife didn’t. And I swear, I just swear, Jules, that when I told him I was pregnant and it wasn’t his baby, he looked disappointed.”
Her painted eyebrows slide up her forehead. “That’s …”
I nod slowly. “Yeah …”
On Friday, Cersei and I meet Shep at the park. Once again, he has a whole pack of dogs, and my heart goes all aflutter because I love Shep with his huge heart and his pack of dogs just looking for someone to love them.
“Wow. Ten? Shep, that’s mighty brave of you. Hope no one starts a fight.”
He grins, releasing every single leash, sending them running.
“Eek!” I squeal and stiffen as they rush past me. “Why do you do that every time?”
“Because I like the look on your face.”
“Horror?”
He chuckles, sliding his hands in his back pockets instead of around my waist where I want them. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine. How was your week?”
“Boring. Any morning sickness?”
“Shep…” I shake my head “…we don’t have to do this. I’m not showing. I’m not sick. You wouldn’t know I’m pregnant had I not told you. So let’s just be friends and not think about it.”
“How do you not think about a human growing inside of you?”
“Because this baby is supposed to spend nine months inside of me, and life around me doesn’t stop. Right now, you and those three billion dogs you brought with you are far more interesting than the little sweet pea that I can’t see or feel.”
It’s hard to read the expression on his face. It’s new. I thought I’d seen all of his expressions, but in the past week, he’s shown me a few new ones, and it makes me think that I don’t know my good friend Marcus Shepard as well as I thought I did.
The creepy part is the way his eyes keep going to my belly. I don’t have a bump. Nothing yet. There’s nothing to see.
“I’m free next weekend if you want to get in eighteen holes,” I say, trying anything.
“Millie’s pregnant.”
Whoa. Okay, where did that come from?
Eyeing him for a few seconds, I return a slow nod of acknowledgment.
“Hooked up with some guy she met on a dating app.” He stares past my shoulder at the dogs, unblinking with a blank expression. “He’s happy. Thought his dick was broken or he had weak swimmers that ended his marriage. Something like that.”