More Than Enough (Pelican Bay 4)

Tears pricked the back of my eyes. “Sawyer,” I whispered brokenly.

Sawyer didn’t respond to me in any kind of way. He continued as if I hadn’t spoken at all. “I remember calling out to Marcus, begging him for help. I guess my brain hadn’t really connected the dots at that point. The voices around me got louder but I couldn’t make sense of what was being said. I could hear Marcus yelling and another voice that was just as loud, but I didn’t know who it belonged to. My vision began to clear enough to see Marcus arguing with this other guy I didn’t recognize. There were at least four guys watching the confrontation. They were all naked and rubbing their hard-ons. I couldn’t see the face of the man behind me, but I could feel his dick pressed up against me. His hands were digging into my hips. I began to cry because my mind had cleared enough to realize what was happening, but I couldn’t make my body respond. I kept saying no over and over in my mind but I’m still not sure if the word ever actually left my mouth. What I did know was that the guy Marcus was arguing with was saying I obviously didn’t want it and Marcus telling him to leave if he didn’t like it.”

My heart was already in my throat when Sawyer paused, seemingly to catch his breath because at some point during his story, the memory had finally started to affect him. Not caring about the consequences, I reached out to link my fingers with the ones Sawyer was using to pick at his skin. I was sure he’d pull away, but he didn’t. His grip was painful, but I welcomed it. As much as it hurt to watch Sawyer suffer through having to relive what had happened to him, I knew it was better than keeping himself numb to it.

“After Marcus told the guy to leave, there was this moment where time seemed to stand still. And then it was chaos. The guy behind me disappeared so fast I almost hit the floor. But then there was an arm around me and I was being covered with a blanket. I could barely walk but the guy, the one who’d been arguing with Marcus, helped me to my feet and kept his arm around me. I saw Marcus out cold on the floor as the guy got me out of the room.”

Thank fuck. As bad as the attack had been, I couldn’t even begin to imagine Sawyer being able to recover from being gang raped.

The limited contact I had with Sawyer wasn’t enough for me anymore so I softly said, “Come here, sweetheart,” and then pulled him against my chest. He came willingly.

“I was so stupid, Jett,” he croaked as his arms went around me.

I held him tightly and fiercely said, “You’re so fucking strong, Sawyer. So fucking strong.” I kissed his temple as the relief of knowing I wasn’t going to lose him flooded my entire body. “I love you so much.”

Sawyer didn’t say anything but he did shake his head. Probably because he still didn’t believe it. He couldn’t accept that I saw him through different lenses than he saw himself.

“What happened after the guy helped you?” I asked.

“He offered to take me to the hospital but that was the last place I wanted to go. I just wanted to get as far away from Marcus as I could. The guy gave me some clothes and money and took me to his apartment. He kept telling me how sorry he was. Turned out Marcus had put an ad on one of the gay hookup sites saying it was my fantasy to get fucked by a lot of guys while he watched. Once the guy realized I was drugged and resisting, he knew it was all bullshit.”

“Thank fuck,” I murmured. “Did you know him?”

Sawyer shook his head. “No. Turns out the guy’s name was Saint,” he said with a soft laugh. “I thought he was kidding at first. Anyway, when he asked me if I had somewhere to go, I told him I’d been offered a spot on a team that was researching wolves in the Canadian Rockies. I’d turned it down because I knew Marcus wouldn’t have let me go, but I was sure that I could still join the team. Saint was the one who told me about Pelican Bay. Said his grandfather was the town’s only veterinarian and would likely be retiring soon. I ended up working on a couple of different studies on wildlife throughout Canada and Alaska that kept me busy for about six months. After that, I decided to check out what Saint had told me about Pelican Bay. I didn’t keep in touch with him and the only thing he asked of me was that I not tell anyone about him, including his grandfather. I’ve never heard Doc Cleary mention him, so I guess they’re not close.”