I paused for a moment because I knew I was probably confusing my friend even more. I looked around and spied one of Newt’s coloring books on the end of the island. I grabbed it and flipped through the pages until I found what I was looking for. I pushed my plate out of the way and settled the open book between us.
“You remember doing these connect-the-dot things, right?” I asked as I pointed at the book. The page had a mess of dots on it along with a number next to each dot.
Isaac nodded.
“This is what my life has felt like for the past thirty years,” I said as I pointed at the indecipherable dots. “Except there aren’t any numbers to guide me from dot to dot. There’s no seeing what the end result is supposed to be. I’ve been afraid of these dots pretty much my entire life, afraid of what they’d reveal about me. Like how maybe I would end up stuck in the family business of feeding drugs to kids who were too foolish to know any better. Or that there’d be no image of me getting an education, building up a career or, hell, even just getting out of Bliss. So when someone came along and started connecting those dots for me, I was relieved. Grateful, even. I liked the picture that Marcus created. The problem with those dots, those pictures they form, it’s all bullshit. You can get every dot lined up right and still not know a fucking thing about who you really are.”
I paused for a moment before reaching for the coloring book. “When I first got to Pelican Bay it was like I had to start all over with creating that picture of who I was supposed to be. And then I met you guys and you took me in and made me a part of your family and you didn’t give a shit about how badly I’d fucked up my dots.” I crumpled the paper between my fingers.
“Every moment I spend with you guys is another moment where I get to do this,” I explained as I tossed the paper into the wastebasket in the corner. “But then Jett arrived and everything just got jumbled together in my head again. And Marcus…” I said with a shake of my head.
Isaac’s fingers settled over mine.
“…doesn’t deserve even one more minute of your time. You could have run last night. Spark plugs aside, if you’d really wanted to leave last night, you could have. You’re a strong man, Sawyer Brower. If you hadn’t wanted your family to stand behind you, you would have left in the light of day five minutes after Marcus did. And Jett—”
“Loves me,” I interjected with a smile. I lifted my eyes to meet Isaac’s. “He loves me, Isaac.”
He returned my smile. “Took you long enough to notice. I swear, the way you two would go at it but then not be able to keep your eyes off each other…” Isaac fanned himself with one hand. “And the warning he left you—”
“Warning?” I asked. “What warning?”
Isaac reached between the folds of the magazine and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “When he got to the part about hunting you down and bending you over his knee, I made him write it down instead so I could make use of my man before he had to go.”
I snatched the note from him and began reading.
This morning was the last time I ever leave our bed without kissing you goodbye first. Even now, all I can think about is getting my ass back into that bed with you and waking you up in the most delicious of ways. Preferably with my tongue sliding over your…
I quickly shut the note since my body was reacting to every word and image Jett had conjured up. It was definitely a read it in private type of letter.
Isaac laughed and said, “Did you even get to his warning not to leave the property by yourself and that Dallas would be here to keep an eye on things?”
“Um, no,” I admitted.
“Well, I did my part and gave you the message, both literally and figuratively,” the younger man said as he returned his attention to the magazine. “And Sawyer, fuck the dots, okay? Only thing lines and dots are good for are those graph things that get math teachers all hot and bothered.”
I chuckled at his observation and quickly finished my breakfast. “Thanks, Isaac. That was amazing. I’m going to head on down to Apollo’s habitat and see if I can’t undo some of the damage I did yesterday.”
“Okay, sounds good. Mind if I walk down there with you before I head to the office?”
“Sure,” I said. “But wouldn’t that take you in the opposite direction of the office?”