“I like Vaughn,” Mom says with a smile. “He reminds me of someone I love more than anything.”
Dad looks down at her in surprise. “Who?”
“You, you big goof.” Mom bumps his hip with hers. “He’s very much like your dad was at his age, and there’s so much potential in front of him. In front of both of you. I don’t think there’s a wrong answer here, Liv.”
“I think there could be jealousy issues. And some other things, too,” I admit softly. “Why does it have to be so hard?”
“Because if it were easy, you wouldn’t want it,” Dad says. “It’s your choice. And you don’t have to make it today or even tomorrow. But now you know the score. I’d rather you found out now than a year from now when you’ve invested even more of yourself, and it’s harder to walk away—if that’s what you want to do.”
“I love him,” I whisper and hang my head in my hands. “But being with him is so hard. And it’s just the beginning.”
“Oh, my sweet girl.” Mom circles her arms around me and kisses my cheek. “It’s tough, but so are you. You’ll figure out what’s right for you. I know you will. And no matter what, you have us.”
“Even if you don’t want to admit that you’re my daughter,” Dad says, making me laugh.
I stay for a little longer and finish my coffee, then decide to go.
“I’m not coming into the office today,” I say to my dad. “Sorry.”
“Take the rest of this week and start fresh on Monday.” He kisses my forehead when we reach my car. “I think the most important thing is for you to talk to Vaughn about this. Maybe he hates it all as much as I did.”
“But he doesn’t hate the acting part,” I say. “And I couldn’t ask him to leave that any more than he can ask me not to sew.”
“Call me if you need me,” Dad says after what looks like an internal struggle.
“Okay. I will. Thanks. I’ll have to turn my phone off until I can get a new number, so if you need me for an emergency or something, just call Stella. And, Dad?”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you for shielding us from that. I haven’t had to deal with it for long, and it’s pretty horrible.”
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you safe. Nothing.”
With that, he winks and then shoves his hands into his pockets before walking back in through the open front door.
Likely to make out with my mom before he goes to work.
I drive back home, relieved to see that Vaughn’s car is gone when I get there. I have too much to think about to fight with him some more right now.
But rather than go inside, I lock the car and set off on a walk to the waterfront. It’ll be busy at this time of the morning with joggers and cyclists, especially since it’s not raining today, but that’s okay.
I like to spend time by the water. The noise helps me think.
When I think back over the past few weeks with Vaughn, I have to admit that it’s been the paps that have caused the most angst. It started the night in LA when someone took that photo at the dinner party and has only grown since then. Other photos were leaked, including the one of me with Adam yesterday.
Vaughn didn’t even bat an eye at that. Sure, we’d already talked about what’d happened, but he’d still been jealous when he discovered Adam in my office yesterday.
He has a demanding job that will take him out of Seattle more than he’s here, and I have a career at Williams Productions. I love my job and don’t plan to leave it. So, what’s going to happen? He’ll be God knows where, all over the damn globe, filming movies while I’m in Seattle working. And then what? I see lies about him—about us—in the tabloids, and we constantly have to reassure each other?
That just sounds exhausting.
But then I think about the man himself and how he makes me laugh, how he makes me feel so secure and so…I don’t know, treasured. Like when he looks at me, I’m all he sees. He told me he loves me, and I didn’t say it back.
Not because I don’t feel it, but because I’m so scared and frustrated that I don’t know what to do.
This morning was just the icing on the cake.
Maybe I’m not strong enough to live Vaughn’s lifestyle, no matter how much I love him.
I make my way back to the house and trudge inside. Stella’s on the couch, which surprises me.
“Why aren’t you at work?” I ask her.
“I didn’t want to go today,” she says with a shrug. “It’s one of those days when you just need some mental-health time, you know?”