“I have been thinking about what’s going to happen...after the retreat.”
He narrows his eyes a little. “How do you mean?”
“With us.”
He blinks and studies my face. “Didn’t know there was an us, I thought this was just fun.”
Shame slams into my chest, and then embarrassment cripples me. I sit up quickly, horrified. I had thought of a response to every answer, but that answer had never crossed my mind. I was so certain there was something between us, something worth talking about, and his response has just crushed that in one, quick motion.
I get out of bed, cheeks flaming red.
“June,” Enzo says, sitting up, chest bare.
“I’m sorry,” I cut him off, throwing a hand up as I gather my clothes and jerk them on. “Of course there’s nothing here. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry I brought it up.”
I scurry out of the room, horrified.
I rush past Faye, who is watching a movie on the sofa. She looks over, eyes wide. “June are you okay?”
I don’t answer her, I just dash out the front door and to the patio railing. I grip on, taking a deep breath and trying to calm myself. I know I’m overreacting, and I’m trying to stop, but I’m having a great deal of trouble doing that. Pain, hurt, and stupidity grapple at my heart strings. I feel like a complete idiot for ever mentioning a single thing to Enzo. Of course he didn’t think this was anything, of course he didn’t.
He's a gorgeous man.
He probably has a hundred other women.
“Why did you run off?”
Enzo’s voice comes from behind me, but I don’t turn.
“Juniper,” he growls.
I turn and face him, swallowing the thick lump in my throat.
“I feel stupid, Enzo. Clearly we’re not on the same page and-”
“You didn’t give me a chance to even speak.”
“You said everything I needed to hear. You thought we were just having fun. I’m an idiot for not seeing that. Nothing else to say.”
“You read me wrong,” he growls, getting frustrated.
“I fail to see how I could read that answer wrong.”
He glares at me.
I cross my arms, becoming defensive.
“You haven’t told me this was anything more, so I assumed you didn’t want anything more and we were just havin’ fun. I never, not fuckin’ once, said that was how I felt.”
I pause.
He steps closer.
I swallow.
“You just assumed you knew what I meant, and you ran out before we could have a real conversation about it. What I think and what I want, are two different things.”
“I don’t know why you thought that.” I say, softly.
“We haven’t had a conversation about it, figured that was answer enough.”
I nod, slowly. “I guess we both misread the situation.”
“You think?”
My mouth twitches, just a little. “I feel even stupider now.”
“You want to tell me what you were gettin’ at, since what I thought was clearly wrong?”
I purse my lips and then open my mouth, close it again, hesitating.
“Speak, June.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You’re catchin’ feelings for me and you’re too scared to admit it.”
I give him a sharp look.
“I’m not the only one,” I protest.
He steps forward, taking my face in one hand. “Never said you were.”
“You are, too?”
He nods.
“Then I guess what I wanted to know is...where to from here? I live in a different place, I have a son, I have Ronnie. I don’t know how to proceed with whatever this is. Ronnie and I spoke about it, and he told me he’d do anything I wanted, go anywhere I wanted, and he wants me to see where this goes, too.”
Enzo looks a little surprised by this. “Ronnie is a good man, June.”
God, don’t I know it.
“The best,” I agree. “But that doesn’t give me an answer on what we’re supposed to do here. I can’t just pack up my entire life and come here just to ‘see’ how it goes. I need to know what this is, and where it’ll end up...”
“I understand,” Enzo agrees. “Wouldn’t want you to move your boy for nothin’, but for what it’s worth, June, this isn’t nothin’. I don’t get feelings for women, and I don’t act on them. You’re a first and, if I have it my way, you’ll be the last.”
My heart swells. “So you want to see where this goes?”
“Wasn’t plannin’ on lettin’ you just walk out and never talk to me again,” he murmurs, running a finger over my bottom lip.
I shiver.
“How are we going to do this then?”
“I’ve got six weeks owin’ to me. I haven’t had a vacation in a long time and Rhett is always gettin’ into me about taking one. I’ll come spend those six weeks with you and Hudson, if it works, we can discuss you two comin’ back here. Ronnie, too.”
I won’t cry.
I won’t.
“Ronnie has already lined himself up a job at the garage,” I laugh, because if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry.