She had so little already, and the fact that I’d brought someone into her life that tried to take even that from her is a hard pill to swallow. It’s the only reason I’m taking it easy on Rene though I want to watch her bleed for this. Plus, I don’t want any added pressure on my Madeline.
“You’re not eating, and they went so far out of their way to please.” The five-star seafood restaurant had indeed gone beyond the call of duty. I don’t know how they did it, but I was able to get her chicken fingers and fries with mozzarella sticks. “Baby, what kind of person do you think Rene is?”
“What do you mean? I think she’s awful.” She all but hissed at me. Good, there’s the little spitfire pain in the ass I know and love.
“So why do you care what she thinks? If someone as awful as she is thinks something bad about your mom, then you should believe the opposite. Your mother was a beautiful person inside and out. What happened to her was not her fault, and it was never your burden to carry.”
She started picking at her food eventually while I talked her down. She’s such an innocent; how did I not know this? I stopped looking, I guess when she started standing on her own two feet. She’d taken that streak of independence and turned herself into a powerhouse. The kid had graduated everything early did everything ahead of her peers, so it was easy to overlook her innocence. And because of that innocence, I’m going to be the one to protect her from now on and always. I doubt she even realizes that we haven’t seen the end of Rene.
GARRICK
The holidays were coming up, and I wanted to do something extra special for her this year. Usually, we’d have an early lunch with grandma before she heads off to mom and dad’s house for dinner, where we were never invited. Well, I was, but I always declined since they didn’t want her there. I wasn’t about to let her spend any holidays alone, so it’s been a good eight years or so since I’ve been.
We’d have dinner out somewhere of her choosing; then we’d come home and watch her favorite Xmas movies. I’d always feel bad at those times like I was failing her by not being able to give her a family. Now I’m going to make up for all of it. For my neglect and for all the things she’d missed and so richly deserved.
“Let’s go to Paris for the holidays.”
“Paris? Really?” She’s always wanted to go back there after I took her one summer, but the time was just never right. She squealed and flung herself in my arms at the breakfast table where we were eating together before I left for the office, and she worked on finalizing her upcoming internship as a finance manager for one of the leading financial institutions in the state.
She likes to joke that it’s because I’m so bad with money that she’d gone into that field. For the record, I’m not bad with money; she’s just cheap. I’ve had a running delivery of clothes and shoes and bags coming to the house on a daily basis for the last week and a half. To get her to shut up about it, I told her it was part of her Xmas and birthday gift; only then did she stop fussing about price tags.
She doesn’t have to know that it’s partially from guilt. In listening to her these past two weeks or so, I’d come to learn a lot and not just about Rene and what she’d done to her, but the fact that she’d started denying herself things to be less of a burden to me.
Now I know Maddie isn’t stupid; she may not know how much I’m worth, but she knows I’m far from poor. So the only reason she could think she was a financial burden is if she somehow believes that she’s not worthy. Me, being the simple gimp that I am, never even realized she felt that way, but I can imagine where she got the notion.
All these years, I’ve never pushed my family nor hers to accept her; I always thought as long as she had me, she was good. But I never stopped to think that their actions could have such a negative effect on her that damn near encompasses all aspects of her life.
We’ve been navigating our new relationship as well as can be expected. The news of our marriage hadn’t spread yet because I hadn’t told anyone, not even mom, when she called. That’s because I want to give Madeline time to enjoy being married before the naysayers start in with their shit.
If it were up to me, I’d have taken out a front-page ad already, but for her, even though she hasn’t said anything, I know she needs time. She’s scared, scared that something would go wrong and I’d leave her. I’m doing everything in my power to prove to her that that will never happen, but it takes time.