A textfrom Cindy is waiting for me when I get home from Konstantin’s at nearly four in the morning and dawn is already in thesky.
Call me the minute you get home. I don’t care how late it is. I want to know EVERYTHING.
I smileand let myself into Bertha’s apartment. As I carry Janna back to our home, I feel a small stab of guilt at how much I wanted to leave her and go with Konstantin. My whole attention is no longer onher.
But that’s silly.
None of these recent developments have kept me away from her any more than work already has. She would have been asleep even if I had come straight home from work. Still, I don’t feel any better. I can’t help how thoughts of him creep up on me in the middle of whatever I’m doing. In the soft morning light this new preoccupation that borders on downright obsession doesn’t feel fair for her. She is just a child.
“I’ll do better,” I whisper to the snoozing small shape. “Promise.”
In my room, I strip off the clothes that smell of Konstantin, and climb into bed. I don’t really have the energy to call Cindy—I’m physically and emotionally spent after what Konstantin and I did—but she will hunt me down tomorrow if I blow heroff.
Yawning, I dialher.
“Raven?” she says crisply.
“You said to call,” I say, sounding fuzzy.
“Did you just gethome?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s past four in the morning. Damn, girl, have you been greasing his pole all thistime?”
I can’t help the smile that springs to my lips. I close my eyes so I can more clearly picture Konstantin’s finely-formed, muscular physique. I could tell he had a nice body when he was fully clothed, but, goddamn, it still took me by complete surprise to actually have him standing naked in front of me the first time. Those tattoos that covered one arm and shoulder, flowing down and over hispecs.
I giggle. “That’s an understatement.”
“Did you use the deep throat techniques I taughtyou?”
“Of course.”
“Are you now grateful for all that time I forced you to choke on the dildo?”
“You were right. It was worth every second,” I concede.
“Good. Now that we have established the gratitude that is rightfully mine, I. Want. Every. Detail,” she says, emphasizing each word while simultaneously doubling the space betweenthem.
“I don’t even know where to start. I’ve just never met anyone like him before, Cin. He’s so different.” I pause to force my racing thoughts into an idea that might make sense to her. How can I explain the incredible heat betweenus?
“What do you mean by different?”
“Everything with him is so hidden, but so hot, and so … ugh. I can’t explain it. He’s like a deliciously muscular enigma. Did you notice anything about him that night at the casino when you took over my table?”
Cindy takes a few moments to answer, and I can see her chewing her lip as she thinks. “He was an expensively dressed, extremely handsome man who took the trouble to be charming, but was so reserved. To the point of appearing cold. I swear even the air around him was a couple of degrees colder. I certainly didn’t see any of that heat you’re talking about. He must save all the sexy stuff foryou.”
The thought—that maybe he can’t control that smolder when I’m around, that maybe it just gets away from him—thrills me completely. I know how powerful his effect is on me, but it never occurred to me I might be casting the same spell on him. It seems incredible to think anything could get under that cool, collected façade.
“I think I’m falling for him.” I admit it to myself and Cindy at the same time, which is how I make the better part of my breakthroughs. “I don’t even know how you can fall for a guy you barely know anything about, but I am. I can’t stop thinking about him, Cin. He asked me to go away with him to the country and it took everything I had not to immediately agree to go with him. If he’d asked me again, I’d probably have saidyes.”
Cindy sucks in a shocked breath, and I prepare myself: a lecture is on its way. “What? This gorgeous god of a man asked you to go away with him and you refused? Why? Why aren’t you going on thistrip?”
“You knowwhy.”
“Janna?” Her dry tone is like an accusatory finger poking into my chest.
“I can’t just leave her alone for days at a time,” I defend hotly.
“Let’s conveniently forget that I’m around and I’ve helped out with Janna so often in the past I might as well be her second mother.” She takes another deep breath. Really, she wants to shake me. “For God’s sake, Raven. Sometimes the way you go on it’s like you’ll be leaving her to fend for herself in the streets.”
“What about—”
“Work?” Cindy finishes. “I’ll sort something out with Dave. You need this, Raven. After that horrible year with Octavia. You bloody well deservethis.”
“I want to go, but …”
“So just go. You know you’ll regret it if you don’t.”
It’s a waste of time to try to argue with someone who’s known you since you were a kid. I don’t have any tricks that she hasn’t seen a thousand times. That, of course, works bothways.
I sigh, long and drawnout.
“Come on. This will be good for you. You have to get out there and start living again. Stop using Janna as an excuse.” When I don’t answer, she continues in a gentler tone. “If you’re happy, Janna will be happytoo.”
I don’t answerher.
“What would Octavia tell you todo?”
I squeeze my eyes shut at the mention of poor, shrunken Octavia.
“He’s hot. He likes you. You like him. Janna likes him. What’s the problem?” sheasks.
“I’m scared,” I whisper. “I don’t know anything about him. What if he hurtsme?”
“You’ll pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go on like all the rest ofus.”
I swallow hard. I’ve never been a coward before. “Okay. I’llgo.”
Cindy lets loose a celebratory whoop into the phone. “Yes!”
I have to laugh at how excited she is forme.
“Cin?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for being such an amazing friend.”
“Talking of amazing friends. What are you doing tomorrow for lunch?”
“Nothing. Why?”
“Want to do lunch with Rosa tomorrow?” sheasks.
I’ve already said I’m doing nothing so it’s too late to back off. “What about Janna?”
“She’ll come with us, obviously.”
“All right,” I say without any excitement in my voice.
She ignores my dull tone. “Great. Will you make sure I’m awake by 12.30 tomorrow?”
“I’ll set Janna onyou?”
“God no. Yesterday she launched herself into my bed so hard I’ve got a bruise the size of England on myside.”
“Sorry. I’ll have to warnher.”
“Don’t you dare. I love having her in my bed. It will be no time before she won’t want to do that anymore.”
I smile. “Okay.”
“By the way. Why did you tell her that you were okay with her getting a pony if Iwas?”
I start laughing. “She’s playing you, Cin.”
“Ooo … the manipulative little minx,” she says with a laugh. “Anyway, got togo.”
We say goodnight and I start typing a text to Konstantin.
I’m good for the weekend in the country if the offer still stands.
I delete that.That sounds way too needy.
I’m available this weekend.
I delete that.Maybe something cheeky?
I’m up for that dirty weekend if youare.
With a grimace,I delete that too. I’ll just keep it simple.
Do you still want to do that weekendaway?
I don’t expectto hear back from him right away. That’s just how guys operate, not to mention he’s way too mysterious and remote for a prompt reply. So, I’m pretty surprised to receive a response immediately.
I will prepare everything for this weekend. I cannot wait to be inside you again.
That heat washesover me as a blush blooms in my cheeks. I think of him in his nearly empty apartment, probably in bed. Naked. Those hot eyes that drive me crazy closed. I think about my conversation with Cindy and try on some of her confidence when I send my reply.
I’m excited too. x
He doesn’t text back.I put my phone down, still flushed and lightheaded, and I snuggle deeper into my blankets, thinking about Konstantin and how good we were together.