Lovely Darkness (Creeping Beautiful)

“Indie,” Nathan cautions.

“I just want to compare,” Wendy says. “Because I’ve only ever been with Nick.”

Nathan and I just gawk at her for a few moments. Then he says, “What?”

“Nick was your one and only?” I ask.

“Yeah.” Then Wendy shrugs. “I’m… complicated.”

“I do not doubt it.” Nathan chuckles.

“It was rough,” I say. Then I wonder, was it rough? Or did I make that up too? And is Nathan gonna call me on this? Is he gonna know that I’m so fucked up in the head?

“Rough how?” Wendy asks.

“You know,” Nathan says. “Choking and doggie-style kind of shit.”

Wendy looks confused. But I’m secretly cheering that I got it right in my head. “Wait,” she says. “Choking?”

Nathan and I both laugh. Then he says, “Not real choking, Wen. Sexy choking.”

She lets out a long sigh, then lies back. “I can sorta picture it.” But then she sits up again. “But Nick is always so careful.” She says the word ‘careful’ like she’s not all that fond of careful. “I think he’s afraid of me.”

“Well, I don’t blame him,” Nathan says. “Careful sex is nice too, anyway.”

“Yeah,” Wendy agrees, but only halfheartedly. Then she lies back again, looking a little bit sad.

I reach over and take her hand, then I place it on Nathan’s stomach. She turns her body and rests her head on his shoulder, the same way I am.

I say, “I’m really glad you’re here, Wendy.”

And then we close our eyes.

I don’t know how long we sleep, but when we wake up the sun has moved through the trees. It was a very nice sleep. A restful one that I didn’t even know I needed. Wendy, too, I think.

We take our time waking up, rubbing our eyes and then scooting across the floor to the ladder.

We go down. No one talks. No one even needs to. And then we walk back the way we came and come out of the woods like we just exited a dream world.

This is how it’s supposed to be.

This is how I remember it being.

Wendy makes us kids again. Teenagers who have the whole fucking world in front of them.

We end up in the pavilion.

Nathan lies down on the swing first. I follow, then Wendy.

And it’s like we’ve always been like this.

The three of us.

Like we will always be this way.

CHAPTER SEVEN - NICK

I watch Wendy with Nathan and Indie on the porch from the large front windows. I want to be out there with her, but I need to see this reaction. Wendy looks annoyed. Like she doesn’t want to be with them, but would rather be in here with me.

The three of them just stand there for a moment. Like they are trying to sort out how their individual friendships fit in this context of Old Home. But then they head towards the woods.

I look over my shoulder for a moment, wondering where Merc, Sasha, and McKay are. I know Adam is in his room. And I can smell food in the kitchen, so McKay is in there.

The screen door squeaks a little when I go outside, but there is no one around to hear it as far as I can tell.

I follow Indie, Nate, and Wendy into the woods.

The path they’re taking has been worn smooth with decades of foot travel. There are no twigs or stones on it. Almost like it’s regularly groomed. I keep them ahead of me and out of sight. If there’s one thing a little Zero girl is good at, it’s knowing when you’re being followed.

But from the sound of Nate and Wendy’s conversation, they’re mostly unconcerned without the idea that someone is spying on them. They fall back into some old familiar pattern that I never really knew about, asking each other about life, and events, and other regular happenings. Wendy even laughs a little when Nate gets all flirty and charismatic with her.

I know Nate about as well as anyone can. Better than Indie does, that’s for sure. We’ve been working together for a while. And I’ve seen him with girls. I would not call Nathan St. James my friend, but we’ve done our share of bar drinking.

Watching him with Wendy is interesting though. And necessary. Because Nate is who he is—i.e. Indie’s other half—so I had to play him. I had to put him inside my plan from the very first day he became part of my team. He and I have never been in the same room with Wendy. Wendy was playing him too. She knew that part of the plan. She knew we’d end up here at Old Home. She even knew Donovan was the answer but never had a real-life interaction with either Donovan or Carter before now.

I’m not sure if that was someone else’s plan or it just shook out that way, but it’s in my favor. Otherwise Wendy might be in the same situation that Indie is.