Lovely Darkness (Creeping Beautiful)

“What?” Wendy asks, picking up on his hesitation.

“Do we really want to leave Merc, Sasha, and Maggie here alone with… that guy?”

“That guy?” I say. “That guy is Donovan. And he’s in a coma. I think they’ll be fine.”

Nick continues to hesitate and this apparently ticks Wendy off. “What?” she asks. “Do you want to stay behind with Sasha?” And oh, the sneer when she says that name. It’s thick. “Fine. Stay with her, then. But I’m going with Indie and Nate.”

“Don’t jump to conclusions,” Nick says. He’s soft with her. Even and easy. Soothing. “I’m not staying here if you’re going. I’m just making sure.” Now he looks at me. “But if you’re certain, then I’m in.”

“You’re not gonna kill them,” Nate says. “Just so we’re clear.”

Nick puts both hands up in surrender. “It’s just a sightseeing trip, as far as I’m concerned.”

Nick and Nathan go tell Merc that we’re leaving while I go find Maggie. Wendy follows me into the kitchen where Mags and Sasha are just pulling some garlic bread out of the oven. Sasha looks like a mom. I like that about her. I like the idea that she was like me once upon a time and now she’s like this.

Like maybe, if I step on all the right stones and don’t fall in the river of gators and snakes, in ten years I could be the same way.

It lightens my mood, which had started to darken because of the cloud surrounding Wendy.

I tell Maggie that we’re going into town and could she please take a bath and put herself to bed by nine-thirty.

Sasha looks at me a little funny, but then she rallies. “I’ll make sure she does.” And she says it with a smile. Though she never does aim that smile at Wendy.

I think there’s a little tension between those two.

An interesting train of thought for another time.

After that, we all meet up at Nick’s truck. He has decided he’s driving this time. Nathan and I don’t argue. He gets in front with Nick and Wendy and I pile into the back.

About fifteen minutes in, we leave the heavily wooded countryside surrounding Old Home and get on a highway. This is the first time someone speaks since we left, and it’s Nick. “So, where are we going? Is it a secret?”

Nathan doesn’t take his eyes off the dark road in front of us. “I didn’t lie about the house. They were gone when I went back.”

“You just didn’t mention that you went lookin’ and found them again.”

It’s a little bit weird to see them talk like this. Especially with Wendy and me in the backseat. Because in my head, Nathan St. James is all mine. He belongs to me, and I belong to him, and our lives take place on Old Home island.

The conversation between Nick and Nate reminds me that it’s an illusion. Because I have lived one life, and Nathan has lived another, and so far—those two lives have never actually met.

Nick Tate is like an introduction to our secret lives. He and Nathan know each other. Well. I don’t like to think about how that happened, of course. Because it was me.

I went crazy.

I tried to kill them. All of them.

Maggie was poisoned.

Adam left and took her with him.

Donovan had to give everyone some kind of antidote.

Nathan was bleeding on the ground after my attack.

McKay gave him another life and told him to never come back.

And that other life ended up being Nick Tate.

Four years.

They worked together for four years.

“I don’t know why you expect me to fill you in on things these days, Nick,” Nathan says. “We’re done. I told you we were done back in Savannah. I don’t owe you any more information.”

“It’s not about owing, Nate. It’s just a courtesy.”

“So you can kill them?”

“Since when do you care if they die? Last I heard you wanted to kill them too.”

I glance over at Wendy to see how she’s feeling about this conversation, but she doesn’t appear to be paying attention. She’s just staring out her window. She’s on the driver’s side, so even if she wanted to look at Nick, she wouldn’t be able to see him. But she’s very still and quiet.

“I’ve never been on board with it,” Nate says. “You know that. I was doing it because I owed you, but that debt was cancelled long ago. I did way more for you than you ever did for me.”

“They killed your friends, Nathan. Beck and Moore. Remember them?”

“Yeah,” Nate says. But that’s where he drops it.

So does Nick. Like he crossed some line and he knows it.

I don’t like the quiet that comes next. So I pick up Nick’s question and answer it. But of course, I’m lyin’, as usual. “We didn’t find them, Nick.”

“What?” This one word comes out of his mouth like a snap. “What do you mean? Then where the hell are we going?”