He didn’t know about Donovan back then.
I’m still not even sure that’s all real.
I’m really not sure anything is real.
But I’m here, in this nest of a house where Nathan saw a girl who looked just like me and three little girls who looked just like Maggie, and I have to be present.
I have to.
This is too important.
I can feel the dream. It’s always there. The hazy fog and the shimmery curtain. But sometimes that fog is so thick and that curtain so opaque, I can’t see past it. That’s when I lose time. That’s when I black out.
But other times, like right now, it’s see-through.
That means I’m still in control.
So I push Donovan’s voice away, tuck him into a corner in that dark place called my mind, and I pay attention.
Wendy is in front of me. Following Nick as Nate leads us through the empty house.
But I grab her arm when we get to a hallway and when she turns to see what I’m doing, I place a fingertip on her lips.
Shhhhhhhhhhh.
She says nothing. Just carefully watches me with her blue-specked eyes.
I crook a finger at her, beckoning her to follow. Then I let go of her arm and start walking.
I can’t force her to follow me.
I take about ten steps down another hallway before I look over my shoulder.
She’s right behind me. She even gives me a nod.
This is a good sign.
I can’t tell her the truth. That’s not how truth works.
But I can show her.
And that’s what I’m gonna do right now.
We leave the house through the back door, walk the length of a nice, long deck, and then go down the stairs and enter the woods.
It took us almost a whole day to find this place when Nathan and I came back by ourselves to see the girls. They had cleared out, of course. That part wasn’t a lie.
Contrary to what he believes, I don’t enjoy lying to Adam. I don’t actually enjoy lying to anyone, especially myself.
But some lies are necessary in this world I live in, and these girls are one of those necessary lies.
Wendy is quiet as we make our way through the woods.
The path we’re following is very narrow. One made naturally by deer. But we’re good in the woods and it’s not hard to find the place Nate and I found at the very end of the last day we came out here looking.
There is no house, no cabin. There is no tent or camp.
It’s actually built into the side of a hill. A little opening. Roundish and hidden behind the low branches of a pine tree. Something a bear might make.
But this little burrow wasn’t made by a bear.
It was made by a pack of blonde girls.
One big, like me. Three small, like Maggie.
I bend down, push the branches aside, and whistle. Not a shrill whistle, like how McKay used to whistle for me to come home when I was a child. But a bird whistle. Something that is all Nate.
“What are we doing?” Wendy’s voice is not loud, but not soft either. She’s not afraid. I didn’t expect her to be. And she’s not worried about anyone hearing her.
But before I can answer her, there’s a scuffling in the hole in the side of the hill. Then a blonde head pops out.
Wendy takes a step back, but that’s it. Just one step.
“You came back,” the girl says. She looks just like me. Same age and everything.
But I don’t find that unusual anymore. She is, after all, one of my sisters.
“I told you I would.”
Her eyes dart up to Wendy as she extracts herself from the hole. As soon as she is clear, another blonde head pokes out. But just as quick as it appears, the new girl blocks the way and hisses, “I told you not to follow me.”
A little voice that sounds exactly like Maggie responds with a huff. “It’s not fair. You get to do everything.”
“Go back inside. Now. I‘ll be there in a second.”
The little head retreats, but whether or not she goes all the way back down the tunnel that leads to their underground bunker is another matter altogether.
My twin turns back to us. Smiles. “Sorry. She’s just curious. They are all tired of being here.”
“What is this place?” Wendy asks. And again, her voice is normal. Almost loud. “And who the hell are you?”
“This is Mindy,” I say, waving my hand at my twin. “She’s… one of us. And this is Wendy.” I wave my other hand towards my friend. “She’s one of us, too.”
Mindy smiles at Wendy. “Nice to meet you.” She’s like me a lot on the outside. But she’s nothing like me on the inside. She’s not a killer, for one. She never did any jobs the way I did. She’s a mother.