Beauty and the Baller

Our sideline goes nuts, players and coaches jumping and screaming, faces red and sweaty as they cheer. After the field goal, the score flips to thirty-eight to twenty-eight.

The buzzer goes off, and fans, parents, and cheerleaders swarm the field. Milo picks up the Gatorade and dumps it over Skeeter. I laugh, standing back and taking it in. Sabine jumps into Toby’s arms and kisses him. Sonia dashes on the field and runs straight to Skeeter, hugging him, then drying him off with one of the team towels.

My eyes search the field, loneliness creeping in when I don’t see her.

“Great game, Coach,” the opposing coach says and shakes my hand.

I nod and say the same. People run past me, shouts going up: “Go Bobcats!” and “All the way to state!” I keep my head down, victory and a sense of loss mixing inside of me.

A booming voice pulls my gaze up.

“Look at you. Big shot. Beat the fuck out of that team. My best goddamn friend in the whole world! He’s a badass! That’s what I’m talking about!” Tuck throws his arm around me and gives me a bear hug, then slaps me on the shoulder. “Texas football is legit. Fans are rabid! Some old lady mowed me down to get on the field! That game was”—he kisses his fingers—“chef’s kiss, bro. Fucking fantastic!”

I grin. “It’s good to see you!”

He preens and flips his hair. “I know.”

“How was the flight?”

“Got here just before the game started. For real, Ronan, your players are a force.” He smirks. “’Course, it helps that you’re the best coach ever.”

I smile broadly. “Come on. I want you to meet them. Don’t be surprised if they ask for an autograph.”

“This old injured dog?”

I chuckle.

He tosses an arm around me like he used to on the field. “Me and you, man. We’re a team. Yo, I hope Dog remembers me. He tried to get in bed with me last time. I kinda want a pet, was thinking about something small, like a Chinese crested, sweet and cute, but if it pees my place up, I don’t know—maybe I need a pet and a dog walker . . .” He continues to talk, and my eyes wander to the stands. Still no Nova.

Chapter 26

NOVA

I stare at myself in the mirror. My lipstick is cherry red, but my eyes have shadows under them, and my face is pale. As I apply blush, I picture a BBHS without Ronan, and my hands set down the makeup and cling to the edge of the sink.

He’s going to choose, and I already know which one makes the most sense—

My throat prickles with emotion I’ve been holding at bay for hours since the reporters showed up.

Gathering my things, I tug my Bobcats shirt down over my skinny jeans and walk out of the stadium restrooms. Sabine and I watched the game from the top row of the stadium in the shadows of one of the overhangs.

My heels click on the tile as I enter the field house. With most of the players dressed and gone, it feels strange and quiet after such a huge win. Most of the team has headed to Randy’s Roadhouse for the party. Normally, I’d be gone, too, but I left my work satchel in Ronan’s office and need to grab it. I waited until I thought he’d be gone.

I frown when I see that his door is partly open. I hear voices.

“Back to the Pythons. Coach Dixon seemed all right, but I guess he’s worsened. He’s a fine man, and I know you admire him. It sucks that he has cancer, but it’s your chance . . .” The voice sounds familiar—I think it’s Tuck. I saw him on the field talking to Ronan.

I can’t hear Ronan’s reply but catch bits and pieces of Tuck’s words.

“The whole team is chanting your name. It will be great to have you back, man. You can stay with me or find your own place, whatever.” Tuck pauses. “I imagine it’s gonna be hard. Those kids . . . you took them far. What about Nova? You said it was getting real with . . .”

My heart thuds painfully as I inch closer to the door.

“Leaving with no entanglements. That was the plan,” Ronan says with a ring of finality.

“You’ve got two victories, bro. Your win tonight and your win tomorrow in New York . . .” Tuck chuckles.

I need you . . .

I don’t know the future . . .

Both of those are his truths.

I close my eyes, my chest rising. He never made a commitment. I was the one who put my heart on a platter. I knew him leaving was a possibility—I did, but I jumped off the cliff straight into the volcano.

I lean against the wall, gathering myself.

Sabine and Toby appear at the end of the hall, and I straighten up and hurry toward them. They dashed off earlier to grab a few posters to keep.