My arms go around his waist, and we lean against each other.
I close my eyes and think about the good things, how he left me a rose on my first day at school, how he took care of me when I was sick. He’s a wonderful, kind man, and I’m losing him.
I place my cheek against his chest, and he rests his chin on my head. “I never planned on you. I never imagined this could be . . .” He stops, his voice unsteady.
“What?”
His hands tighten around me. “I’m terrified of so many things. Leaving you. Not leaving you. I’ve dragged you into this relationship, and I’m hurting you—the last thing I want to do.”
I nod.
“Nova, look at me.”
I lift my face to his, and our eyes cling.
“You said you were half in love with me that night in New York—but I was half in love with you too. The fierce way you wore that outfit, how you didn’t care what anyone else thought, the way we clung to each other . . . I was drunk—I was, okay, I know—but you had so much joy. Maybe, I don’t know, you gave me back some of mine or at least some hope that I could get my life back. In an indirect way, you’re the reason I ended up in Blue Belle. How’s that for fate?” Not waiting for a reply, he presses his forehead to mine. “I swore I wouldn’t ask, that I wouldn’t put you in this kind of situation, but would you consider coming with me? You and Sabine.”
My eyes fill with water. I’ve thought about this since the moment I found out. If he’d ask me—and what I’d say. “This is her home. I followed Andrew to UT. I almost followed him again the second time. Following a man? It’s not who I am anymore. I never planned on ending up here, but . . .” I pull away and clasp his hands, threading our fingers together. My eyes linger over Mama’s rosebushes, Lois’s apple trees, the home where I grew up. I think about Sabine, about singing songs with her in our kitchen, about Caleb and Toby and Bruno and Milo. I think about Sonia and Skeeter and Lois. They’ve become my family. The longer I stay, the deeper those threads will grow, bloom, and then flourish.
Mama gave me roots and wings to believe I could be anything, live anywhere, but Blue Belle is where my heart resides. With Sabine next to me. Her roots are here, and I want to give her those same wings. To watch her fly.
I found my glow. It’s Ronan. But it’s also home.
He closes his eyes. “Nova. I lov—”
I put my finger to his lips. “I don’t think I can take those words. Just kiss me, and say what you came to do.”
“Nova—” His face falls. “I—I can’t say goodbye.”
My throat thickens, and I squeeze his hands. “Listen. Find your glow. Discover all the possibilities. Reach for the stars. No one deserves this more. You’re a hell of a coach. You care about those kids and what happens to them. You have integrity. Loyalty. Perseverance. There was a reason you got the Heisman. You are the best quarterback I’ve ever seen. And this? This is your second chance to be close to what you had. I want the world for you. I want everything for you, Ronan: goodness and love and success and all the football achievements and accolades . . .” My voice breaks, and I tug it back. “You deserve your dream job. You do. Take it. Grab it and be happy.”
“God. Nova . . .” He closes his eyes. “Please. You’re killing me.”
I get on tiptoe and press my mouth to his. He parts his lips and clutches me tight, his arms picking me up. I hang on to his shirt, and the kiss hardens, desperation mingling as we yearn for more.
I pull away, gasping for air.
His chest heaves, his gaze bright with unshed emotion. “Nova . . .”
“Go get ’em, darling.” I push out a watery smile, tug myself out of his arms, and then go inside the house.
Chapter 27
RONAN
I step off the helicopter, and a chauffeur ushers me and Tuck to a waiting black SUV. The driver asks if everything is to my satisfaction, and I tell him yes before we pull out of the heliport in lower Manhattan and head toward the offices of the owner of the Pythons, Damon Armitage II.
The morning started with Damon’s personal jet picking us up at a private airstrip in Austin. We landed at JFK Airport, then hopped in the helicopter. All of this was intended to impress me. I smooth down my blue slacks and white dress shirt. My hands tug at my silver tie.
“You look a little pale,” Tuck says as he settles into the SUV. He picks up one of the bottled waters and hands it to me. “It was a bumpy ride.”