I really hated how good he looked wearing fitted, dark gray dress pants and a light gray button-down, sleeves rolled up his forearms to expose the ink on his flesh.
I hated more how my stomach dipped. The way my thoughts went streaking back to the feel of his hands and mouth on me.
My thighs trembled.
I tore my attention from him when Tessa peeled herself back, and she held onto my upper arms the same way as she’d done when I’d met her. Her gaze swept over me. “Damn girl.”
I reached out and held her the same. “Ha…have you seen you?”
Tessa was wearing this shiny electric blue dress—the same color as her eyes. It was a halter-top, fitted and ruched, and dipped low between her breasts. Her red hair was pressed into giant curls that bounced over her bare shoulders.
She shimmied and winked. “Not too bad for the class nerd, huh?”
“Not bad at all.”
“Okay, I need to finish setting up. The rest of the guests should start arriving soon, and Eden and Trent should be here in fifteen.”
“What can I do?”
“Can you take a peek at the buffet and make sure it looks like they’ve put out everything we need?”
“Sure thing.”
I moved over to the long row of tables where the food was being set out. Chills skated down my spine because with each step, I could feel those eyes hooked on me.
Conflicting and confusing.
I had the urge to peek back. I stopped myself before I slipped into that recklessness.
Jud had already shown his hand, hadn’t he? His knee-jerk reaction had been clear enough. I needed to remember it.
But he never let me go of that connection.
A force came to tower over me from behind. It stole my breath and sent a rash of shivers racing across my flesh.
Citrus and cinnamon and spice.
A warm fall night.
I forced myself to remain turned away because I wasn’t sure I could handle him face-to-face.
“You’re here,” that deep voice rumbled.
I guarded myself against the pull of it, putting up every defense I possessed.
“I was invited.” It came out snippy.
Jud had the audacity to reach out and grip the two outside fingers of my right hand.
Heat zinged up my arm.
“I’m not saying I’m complaining.”
That resolve cracked, but it was fire that came out through the fracture. I whirled on him, and my voice dropped to a hiss. “I don’t think you have the right to say anything, Jud, so why don’t we leave it at that?”
Every rugged, handsome line on his face twisted, and those black eyes flashed.
Flames and seduction.
“Think we need to talk about that.”
A scoff shot from my tongue, and I crossed my arms over my chest to put some space between us. “I tried to talk to you, Jud, to open up, and the second I did, you reminded me of why I can’t. So, like I said, let’s leave it at that.”
Searching for a safer place for my attention, I turned to look to the far side of the room where Gage and Juni were on the floor, sifting through the stash of toys Gage had brought in his backpack.
Giggles rippled from her, her joy so easy and right.
Emotion welled at the base of my throat.
Jud’s attention drifted there, too, and there was no missing the way his hands curled into fists and every muscle in his being tightened.
Was he serious?
I swallowed around the disbelief, around the anger, around what I’d thought had been genuine care that he’d shown me in his office Wednesday when the panic had nearly consumed me.
When he’d promised he would be there.
When he’d kissed me.
Giggles fell from Juni’s mouth, and I shivered with the hope they elicited.
It’s what I wanted most—to give my daughter a normal life.
A good life.
One filled with happiness and safety and friends.
A home.
Jud’s jaw clenched, but there was something beneath it that looked like—sorrow.
I blinked against it, against the care that wanted to press free of my ribs, against the urge I had to reach out and hold a part of that sorrow for him.
A bunch of new guests piled in, and Tessa’s voice lifted over the disorder. “Trent texted, and he and Eden just parked. Get ready, it’s party time people.”
Juni popped up from her perch on the floor and came bounding my way. I reached out to take her hand.
“It’s party time, Mommy!” Then her smile grew. “Look it, Mommy, it’s your motorcycle friend. Did you go so fasts all the way to China?” she asked Jud when she took my hand.
I wanted to wrap her up. Cover her and protect her from the pain of rejection.
Only a rough chuckle slipped from Jud’s mouth, and his expression went soft as he looked down at her.
My ribs clamped around my aching heart, and I swore, in an instant, my entire being went to war.