Salem reached up and took my left hand, clasped it tight.
I tried not to weep. “And I hate what I cost you.”
Visions flashed.
A fire. The child. The misery.
Salem squeezed tighter. “No, Jud.”
Unable to stop myself, I leaned down and wrapped myself around her. I hugged her to me like I didn’t have to let her go. My mouth came to her ear. “It’s okay, darlin’. I know. I know.”
Then I forced myself to straighten and walk away from this woman before I caused her any more pain. Told myself it was all an illusion. That what we’d felt was just a horrible twist of fate.
Most of all, I tried to convince myself the door closing between us wasn’t the biggest blasphemy of them all.
“Fuck!” I shoved the stack of papers off the desk. They scattered onto the barren lobby floor. Where the vacancy shouted and the loneliness throbbed.
All wrong.
All fuckin’ wrong.
I gritted my teeth and jerked open a drawer, digging around the perfectly organized files on a mission to find what I was searching for.
But stepping inside the lobby only reminded me of what was missing.
My motherfuckin’ heart, that was what.
A week had gone by since the shitstorm had gone down.
Darius was gone, along with the monsters he’d sold his soul to. But I had to believe he’d sold it to save Salem and Juni.
Logan had been badly bruised and battered, but I’d known he was going to be just fine when he’d started running his mouth the way he always did while being checked out at the emergency room.
Rubbing it in that I owed him.
Truth was, I’d give the punk everything. Never had I done anything as hard as leave him there that way.
A choice made.
One he’d ended up patting me on the back for and telling me he would have kicked my ass if I’d done it any other way.
Didn’t mean that guilt hadn’t eaten at me.
Found out through Trent that Mimi was home. She’d lost use of her left arm, possibly permanently, but she was alive and breathing. And Juni and Salem?
They were free.
Free.
And in the end, that was the only thing that mattered.
Not the gaping hole carved in my chest where my heart had gone missing.
Not the twisted ache in my gut.
At least that’s what I was trying to convince myself of as I stomped around the office like a beast unchained.
Grunting and groaning and drowning in my own misery.
It was worth it. It was worth it.
Every second of pain, it was worth it.
No, the debt couldn’t be paid, but I was going to count it an honor that I’d gotten to be there to help them through to the other side.
To safety.
To peace.
To life.
When I couldn’t find what I was looking for, I slammed the drawer shut and leaned lower to tug out the bottom one. I started to rummage around when I stilled.
When I felt the shift in the air when the lobby door opened.
A crackle of energy.
A spark of life.
I squeezed my eyes shut, sure I was only dreaming, fantasizing about a girl who’d done me in.
Only I heard the clicking of heels on the hard floor.
Felt the way the earth spun and the ground shook.
Warily, I straightened to look over the high counter.
The breath knocked out of me at the sight of her stepping into the lobby.
The girl was nothing but devastation wrapped in a black, seductive bow.
Black hair and eyes the color of a toiling sea. The darkest, deepest blue.
Thunderbolts that struck straight through me.
Salem was there.
Wearing those fitted black pants and a silky blouse that hugged her in all the right ways, those sky-high heels waltzing across the floor like she owned the place.
A motherfuckin’ knockout.
A fantasy.
A dream.
Every cell in my body clutched, and my fingers itched with the urge to paint.
To mark this beauty that would forever live on inside my memories.
Salem angled her head.
All fierce confidence.
Purpose in her step.
“I hear you’re looking for some help around here.”
I choked out a surprised laugh.
This girl.
I shook my head and planted my palms on the top of the desk because the only thing I wanted to do right then was reach out and take what my spirit screamed was mine.
“You did, huh?”
She nodded, so nonchalant. “Yeah. I heard it was kind of a mess in here, and this burly, giant, oaf of a man was in desperate need of help.”
Disbelief left me on a chuckle, and I arched a brow. “Oaf?”
Another emphatic nod, though there was a tease lighting at the edge of her delicious mouth, and this feeling was gathering quick in my stomach. Something far too light.
“Yeah. It seems the owner of this place is really great at what he does, but not so good at seeing what is right in front of him, at knowing what he needs, at understanding what he deserves, so I’m here to help him out.”