Her Shadows, His Secrets

I shrug, pushing around the pasta. “Sure, but I’ve never been the type to just come in and disrupt someone’s space.”

“Hanna,” she speaks softly, placing her hand on mine, “he’s gone, and you staying here isn’t disrupting his space. It was his final wish. You need to give yourself some grace.”

I look up at her and nod. Moving my eyes to Theo, I see he is sitting there, one hand on the table, his knuckles tapping softly. His other hand is being used as a resting place for his chin, held up on two of his fingers as he watches me.

“I just wish I knew why he didn’t even attempt to contact me. I’ve been alone all these years, ya know? It would have been nice to have someone,” I admit, a lump forming in my throat.

Hell no. I’m not going to cry in front of him. That’s the last thing I need. If he sees me weak, he is one chess move ahead in whatever it is we’re playing.

“It’s nothing like New York. Even if you knew him, you wouldn’t have come here often. I can tell you this—don’t get too comfortable here. It’s nothing special,” Theo says with no emotion at all, still in the same position.

“Maybe for you. We clearly had two different experiences living in New York.” I finally take a bite of my food again, not really a fan of eating in front of people.

And there comes a phobia of mine. Being a big woman means people see me eating and think I’m a glutton versus a normal human needing to eat to survive.

“Maybe you come off as cool and unwelcoming. Ever think that may be why people don’t come off as friendly to you? Maybe they are mirroring you?”

“Theo!” Brenda scolds, whipping her head to face him so fast.

I scoff. “I’m a lot of things, but cold and unwelcoming is not one.”

“Really? That’s all you have been showing me since you got here, greens. You sure about that?” he retorts.

“Theo!” This time, Brenda stands. “What the hell is your problem? You said you wouldn’t be a nuisance. So instead you decide to be a dick?”

“You know nothing about me. All I wanted was friends. I kept to myself because I didn’t want to burden people, since that’s all I’ve been since day one. Hence why JD most likely never came for me.” I stand and throw down my napkin. “This has been lovely, but I think I’m going to call it a night. Brenda, we can reschedule.” I look to Theo, and I see something, a difference, a softer gaze. He looks… regretful.

I make my way up the stairs, listening to Brenda scold Theo, telling him he needs to apologize. I pray to God he decides to stay a dick, because I may punch a man for the first time in my life. I pace the room, looking for my phone that I swore I left up here, but I can’t find it. A tapping on the door stops me, and lo and behold, Mr. Dick himself is taking up the doorframe.

“What? What could you possibly want now? To insult me some more?” I throw the pillow on the bed, and he steps in.

“No. I wanted to say sorry. I don’t know what came over me down there.”

I laugh. “Oh really? Because I do. I think you’re just mad because I’m the first woman who isn’t fawning at your feet and begging for attention. Clearly, rejection makes you bitter.” He laughs, and I cross my arms. “Is this funny? To insult me when I’m already a mess? Is this what you wanted? Get the fat girl all upset, make her feel bad about herself so you can laugh about it to your friends?”

“Enough!” he snaps, his demeanor changing. My eyes fly up and meet his. The way his neck veins bulge and move has me gulping.

“Theo! I will come up there and manhandle you myself. Play nice!” Brenda yells from the bottom of the stairs.

He turns, slamming the door and gaining on me, and within a few strides, he is on me. Gripping my neck, he uses the pad of his thumb under my chin to lift my face. I gulp. “You call yourself fat in my presence again and so help me, Hanna.”

“Why does it mean anything to you?” I hate that there are tears welling in my eyes.

“Because the woman I plan to fuck and worship can’t possibly be insecure. You will need to love your body when you’re with me, or this won’t work.”

“Wh-What?” I choke out.

“You heard me, puppet.” He leans, taking my quivering lip between his teeth and biting.

I yelp, jumping back. “Theo. What are you doing?”

“What does it look like, greens? I want you to be my little puppet. I want to fuck you so hard that my cock imprints your cunt, leaves you shaped for only me.”