Her Shadows, His Secrets

“Tsk, tsk, you didn’t look at me. Again,” he commands.

“Wh-What?” I stutter through my heavy breaths. He places one palm on the fogged glass, and his other works his cock, and all I can think about—all I crave—is him putting it inside me. I’ve never wanted anything more.

“You didn’t look me in the eye. I want to see that look.”

“What look?”

“The one where reality slips away and euphoria numbs you.”

Dear God.

“But I…I can’t. It’s too sensitive.”

His lips lift in the corner, his honey eyes turning a much darker shade. A man turning into a beast. A hungry beast who wants to devour and will not let anything stop him.

“You have no idea. You will come again. And then I’ll take that sore pussy and make you come all over me. Now do it again.” He tilts his head and dares me to say no.

I don’t want to. I want to say yes a million times, and I fear I just might. Bend and break at his demands.

I start to rub my clit again, my body shivering and my upper body jolting forward a bit from the hypersensitivity.

“Chase that. Don’t lose pressure. When it hurts like that, push harder, rub faster. Match my pace.” He picks up speed, jacking his cock, and the image if I were a fly on the wall—two hungry people, ready to devour and do whatever is necessary to touch, consume, and claim one another—is intense. I’ve heard of passion, but I never knew it could feel like this.

“I feel it. It hurts, Theo.”

“Good, circle it harder.”

I do just that, and I orgasm. This time, I keep my eyes on him and hold myself up with my free hand against the glass, right against where his is on the other side. He doesn’t come yet, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s me. If the image of me naked and pleasing myself wasn’t what he thought he’d see.

“Self-sabotage. I see it the moment you do it. Enough, Hanna.” Throwing the door open, he steps in and up to me, gaining on me as I back up against the shower wall. He cages me in, one hand on the wall next to my head and the other at my throat. “You’re going to take my cock like a good puppet, aren’t you?”

I can’t move my head when he has his fingers around my neck like a vice, so I whimper out a yes. “But please don’t hurt me.”

“Not yet. You have to get used to me. You on the pill?”

“No. I’m not.”

“Fuck.”

“I just finished my period. I won’t be ovulating. Besides…I have a condition that makes it really hard to get pregnant.” I hope he doesn’t ask about that. He has no reason to, since this is purely sexual.

“The idea of you taking my cum, every drop, bare, is more than enough to make me mad with anticipation. I’m not waiting.”

“Good.”

He kisses me, and God does he kiss me. Our tongues dual, trying to steal each other’s taste. “Fuck, you taste so damn good. Let’s see what you taste like elsewhere, baby.” He sinks to his knees, and my shoulders stiffen.

I’ve never had a man go down on me. When he touches the plush, soft skin of my stomach, I look down. And then he’s kissing me…right there, my most insecure place. The place I wish I could cut a thousand and one times with a knife or scissors. And he kisses it…so sensually. Like the skin there, the fat, is just there, nothing to be bothered by or in the way. It’s almost like it doesn’t exist. I fight back the tears, watching a man kiss me in my most despised place. This is the most vulnerable I’ve ever been.

“You want this?” he asks, obviously sensing my hesitation.

“Yes. Please.” I want to give in to it for once, lean in to the fall. Turn my back on my insecurities and just feel. Be numb in the euphoria like he said. I deserve it. Every woman, no matter her shape or size, deserves to feel what desire is like and not spend her entire time afraid of it.

For just this moment, I want to act as if I’m the girl I always wanted to be.

Without another word, he lifts my leg and places my foot on his shoulder, biting, sucking, and licking up my calf and thigh. And when his mouth meets my center and the warmth and feel of him floods me, I’m gone. I’m in the pleasure, enthralled by it, more lost in it than I can explain. But he’s an expert with his tongue. He massages my thighs as he strokes up and down my center, from my opening to my clit.

“Theo…that’s so good,” I moan, gripping his hair.

“You can fuck my face, puppet. Don’t be ashamed. Take your pleasure first.”