Her Shadows, His Secrets

“What is it, puppet?” He keeps a steady pace, his hips rolling, up and down, around, and rolling again.

“Will it ever be like this with anyone else?”

That softness leaves him. “When this is done, you will never find a man to do this to you. I hope you always picture me. In fact, I know you will. I will haunt your dreams, invade your fantasies, and every face above or under you will be me. You will always belong to me, puppet, even after I’m gone.” He thrusts up hard into me, and I cry out. “I take pleasure in knowing I ruined you.”

I hate him for this, because it’s true. No matter what happens, Theo will be the one I compare anyone I ever let touch me again to. Yet, at the same time, I will never regret being ruined by him.

“You’re my mess,” I whisper.

“No, I’m your demise. A mess can be cleaned up. A demise, you can’t come back from.” With that, he takes my pleasure, claiming it. Making me orgasm, his coming soon after mine. And I hate to admit it, but this was a little different. There was a connection, and I think we both felt it.

And not only did we both feel it, but we also both feared it and didn’t talk about it after. Sleep took us, and we let whatever happened back there hang in the air with our passion, lust, and heavy breathing.

CHAPTER TWENTY

THEO

Last night, something happened, and I don’t know what to do. When I looked in her eyes, those green irises that remind me of how much she can crawl beneath my skin, I felt this ache. Yes, a goddamn ache, in my chest. Like she was in there, clawing away at my barriers that I worked hard to build up.

I can’t feel this. The lines we would be crossing are complicated for so many reasons. Hanna has to stay an arrangement, not a complication, not a wrench in my plans. If falling for her happens, I will have to end it. She can never mean more to me than a woman I find sexual pleasure in. She just can’t.

Fuck. Pulling up to my sister’s place, I see her on the porch waiting, but she’s on the phone, a wide smile splaying across her face. She holds up a finger when I honk, and I assess her, watching her closely. That smile turns into a blush and some giddy jump happens after she ends the call. When she runs to the car, I’m on her the second she opens the door.

“Are you talking to him again?” I scowl.

“What?” She climbs in, putting her seatbelt on.

“Are you talking to that motherfucker again?”

“Oh my hell, Theo. No, I’m not talking to him, and please don’t bring him up and spoil my good mood.” She looks at me like I’m not going to let up.

“Promise?” I don’t want to invade her privacy if this is someone new. We have a strong relationship, and if it’s someone new, she will tell me in time when she’s ready.

“Theo, I wouldn’t lie to you. You’re the only one I will always be a hundred percent open with. Okay?” She reaches over and rubs my arm, and I back out, giving her a quick nod.

“Good. Hanna said she will be home soon. She got held up at work.”

“Yeah, we are short staffed, and I had my appointments today. So she helped by staying a little later. She’s heaven sent. When my assistant manager moves, I think I’m going to promote her.”

“That will be nice.” Driving just a mile and a half up the road, we pull up to Hanna’s place. Climbing up the porch steps, we sit in the rocking chairs, waiting for her to get home, and I check a few emails.

“The month is almost up. You ready to leave again?” Brenda asks, looking out over the afternoon sights. It’s a nice temperature out, and the crickets have started making their noises. There is something peaceful about it. That may be the one and only thing I like about living in a small town.

“I actually have to stay a couple more weeks. There was a hold-up with the job.”

“Oh really? A ‘hold up’?” She air quotes.

“What does that mean, smartass?”

“You know exactly what I mean, Theo. Don’t play dumb.” She finally looks at me, giving me an “it’s obvious” type of expression.

“It’s not about her. Shut that shit down. I don’t need you talking to her and making her think it’s anything but the job keeping me here. We have a deal, and it’s going just fine,” I lie. I lie so easily, because truth is, there is something happening. I can’t deny that. And it angers me. Hanna isn’t just a sight to behold and fuck when I want. I catch myself enthralled in learning more about her life. Comforting her when she has hard times, like the nightmares.