Her Shadows, His Secrets

“Dad, let my woman breathe.”

My stomach flutters. That’s the first he has called me his in front of anyone. Brenda knows we’re a couple because I told her at work, but other than that, he hasn’t said anything.

“Your woman. Did you hear that, Kerrin? His woman.”

Kerrin gushes, making me laugh. “Never thought we would see the day, son. Can’t believe this stone wall could make you fall for him.”

I turn and look up at Theo. He is so tense, and I wonder what’s really happening. Is it too soon for me to have met his family? Is he regretting it? I move a few inches away from him, thinking the space may help him calm down a bit. But I won’t lie. It hurts me to think he is regretting this so soon.

“He really is kind to me. Very respectful. It wasn’t hard. Anyway, I can help with anything.” I leave him and move to Brenda, needing space because my feelings are hurt. He is treating me like I’m the problem and a huge shame. I have to hide the tears. I’m not the one who asked to meet his parents yet. Brenda invited me, and I told him I could go as just a friend of them both, but he insisted. Now, we’re here, and he’s being so cool toward me.

Before I get to Brenda, I feel the wall of muscle that I know well, the one I usually crave to feel but want to run from at the moment.

“Baby. You don’t walk away from me.” He grabs my hip and whispers this in my ear so only I can hear.

I move from him, annoyed by his whiplash of hot and cold. It could leave a damn mark at this point. This enrages him; I don’t have to look to know. I feel the energy in the room. “Mom, Dad, Hanna and I need a minute.” He grabs my hand, and I go to protest, but he is on a mission, dragging me with him, and I am stumbling until he puts us in the bathroom and shuts the door.

“You are such an ass. You could have went with my offer, and you didn’t. You chose to bring me here as your girlfriend, and now you’re ashamed and being so cold to me.”

“No, Hanna. That’s not it. Fuck.” He turns and places his hands on his head, pacing the small space of the bathroom.

“Then what is it? Tell me.”

He keeps pacing. I can sense his anxiety rising.

“I’m selfish. I need to tell you something, and it’s eating me alive. Seeing you with my family is showing me I can’t hide this anymore. I can’t let this secret I’ve been holding in stay between us anymore.” I look back and forth between his eyes, and my stomach drops. What did he do?

“Is there someone else?” My eyes fill with moisture, but I refuse to let them fall.

“What? God, no, baby. There is only you, but puppet… what I tell you could ruin what we have, and you might never want to see me again.”

“Spit it out, Theo. I’m not going to stand here and beat myself up and think the worst. What is it?”

He goes to open his mouth and say something, but there is a knock.

“Dinner is ready. Dad is impatient, and I have to pee!” Brenda interrupts.

“Fuck. Okay. At the cabin, we can talk then, but promise me something.”

The pit in my stomach grows, and I now feel like the entire afternoon will be filled with my assumptions and fear. What is he hiding that could be so bad it’s eating at him? Nothing ever gets to him.

“You love me, and you will never leave. You have to hear what I say and understand why I did what I had to do.”

That’s so damn ominous I could vomit.

“I can’t promise anything. I’m all out of trust and promises to spare.” I open the door and leave it at that. Just as I step out, my phone rings, and I see Jack’s name. “Shit,” I whisper.

“What?” Theo asks.

“My phone just died, and Jack was calling,” I tell him, watching the circle on my black screen disappear.

“I have a charger in my car. I can grab it,” he says, and I shake my head.

“No. I will grab it. I need a minute to collect myself before I face your parents.”

He takes the hint. “Glove compartment. Truck’s unlocked,” he tells me, and before he says anything else, I move out the door and to the truck. When I open the truck door, I pop the dash, and the charger falls out… and so do a bunch of papers.

“Shit.” I hurry to grab them, but instantly I stop.

My face.

My name.

My address.

A report of me.

And so much more.

I read the words on the picture of me.