Her Shadows, His Secrets

“Baby, don’t say it’s over. Don’t say something you will regret.” He reaches for me, but I stop him once again, putting my hand up.

“Sirius!”

And just like that, he stumbles back, and in that moment, I watch his heart break. Just like mine is.

“Don’t, please. Don’t say that. Don’t do this to us, baby.”

“Sirius,” I whisper again, letting the tears fall now without trying to stop them. He backs up, knowing he lost the battle. He can’t touch me anymore. He can’t control the situation, and all power is now gone from him too.

“Stay away. Goodbye, Theo.” I slam the door, and I listen to him yell and curse. I slide down the door and cry through the pain, my body wracking in pure torture. Where do I go now? I’m now in the middle of some missing person’s case. Lost a man who I loved, and now I’m alone. Alone again. Alone for always.

“Hanna, this is Detective Ares of the New York City Police Department,” Jack says, and a tall man with slicked-back hair that looks like it took an entire bottle of gel to do so comes in and sits in the seat next to me in Jack’s office.

It’s been two weeks. I called Jack after three days of sulking in bed, unplugging the house phone, and turning off my cell phone. I ignored everyone but Brenda, who stayed with me every night after work. She slept beside me as I cried through the night, waking up screaming and gripping at my chest because I missed Theo to the very core of me.

It felt like a death.

He hurt me, but before he did, he took all of me. He took my broken heart, began to mend it, and then shredded it. Jack told me the cops had reached out to him and said they wanted to set up a meeting to come talk to me. I agreed, having nothing to hide and wanting to clear my name and, honestly, find out more.

“Hello, nice to meet you, Detective. I’m Hanna Whittington.” I reach over and shake his hand.

“Yes, hello, Ms. Whittington. Thank you for taking time to sit with me today.”

“Please, call me Hanna.” I give a half smile and tuck my hair behind my ears. My eyes are sunken in, and I look a mess I’m sure, but if I’m being honest, I don’t care. It is what it is.

“Hanna. So I wanted to meet to ask you a few questions. Before you came to Cherry Hill, you made multiple calls to the police with reports of being stalked or hearing someone outside your apartment door, trying to get in, is that correct?”

Surprisingly, I’m not nervous around Ares. He has a calm demeanor, and maybe I’m just too broken to really be afraid of anything at this point. To feel anything really.

“Yes. All were ignored, and I was often told I was crazy and hearing things or that this was the downside of living in places like I did.” My response is snarky, and I mean it to be. I knew I wasn’t crazy, and now look at the mess we’re in.

“Yes. I read the reports. I’m sorry about that,” he says. “Did you know of anyone who would have any conflict with you or any ill feelings?”

I look down at my hands. “I didn’t even have friends. There was no one to even give the chance to have any conflict with.” How pathetic does that sound? I almost forgot that just a month and a half ago, I had a life with nothing and no one in it. But then I came here and was making friends… and falling in love. But now, with the exception of Brenda, I’m starting to see that lonely girl coming back, and I hate it. So much so, I almost start to pity myself.

“What about ex-boyfriends or any other family?”

I pause for a minute. “My ex is long gone and married, living on the West Coast. My parents dropped me off at the state’s door and never looked back, and the only other family I had left was my grandfather, who is now dead.” The last part hurts me. The last two weeks, I also spent time reading his letters to me.

He praised me. Talked about loving me so much and waiting for the day that I might give him the chance to be in my life. I learned my love of reading came from him. I learned that my grandmother died of cancer when my mother was a young girl. I learned that my parents were into drugs and stealing from him, and that’s why he told them to leave and get their lives together before coming back. He apologized in a hundred and one different ways for things he shouldn’t have ever had to.