It takes a moment for us to realize what just happened. Nikolas pulls his hand from my panties, and taking a step back, his face sets in an unreadable mask.
Long seconds tick by, the realization that I just let Nikolas kiss and touch me, shuddering through me.
I let him make me come.
Holy fuck.
Why did I let it happen?
I don’t get time to process anything. Nikolas’ eyes drift over my body, then he looks down at the finger he just had inside me.
Lifting his eyes back to my face, there’s only brutality in his dark gaze. “Leave.”
What?
When I don’t react, he barks, “Get out, Theresa!”
My heart lurches painfully, and crouching, I pick up my handbag before running out of the office.
I make it to the SUV and even strap on my seat belt before a hard tremor rocks my body. All the emotions I suppressed rush back like a tidal wave.
Shame.
Confusion.
Anger.
My anxiety spirals into chaos and digging in my bag, I grab the bottle of Xanax. I quickly place the pill beneath my tongue, and closing my eyes, I try to breathe through the harsh reality.
Nikolas kissed me and made me orgasm as punishment.
Seriously? Is that really the reason?
Is he so cruel that he’d humiliate me just to make a point?
My emotions become a whirlpool of destruction, sucking my heart into a dark hole.
But…
Did he enjoy it because he desired me or because he just wanted to exert his power over me?
By the time the SUV stops in front of my apartment building, the Xanax has kicked in, and all that remains is a world of hurt and confusion.
My legs are numb as I take the stairs to the fourth floor, and when I reach my front door, the first tear falls. I go inside and throw my bag on the table before locking up behind me. Leaning back against the door, I slide down until my butt hits the floor. I wrap my arms around my shins and press my face against my knees.
I can’t believe he would be so cruel. I understand there’s no love lost between us, but to use sex as an instrument to control me is crossing the line.
But it felt like he really wanted me. The way he kissed me was like I was his next breath.
Lifting my head, I begin to frown.
Maybe he lost control, and afterward, he was just as shocked as me? Maybe he didn’t intend for it to happen, and he didn’t try to use it as a tool to force me to abide by his rules?
What if the physical attraction is two-sided?
My eyebrows lift as I consider the possibility. Surely, he would’ve reveled in the fact if he had meant to hurt me? If there’s one thing I know, Nikolas won’t let the opportunity pass him by to put me in my place.
Holy shit.
That means…
The attraction is mutual, and he wanted me as much as I wanted him.
Hate set aside, we both enjoyed it.
Holy. Shit.
Does that mean I actually have some power in this twisted game?
Chapter 14
Nikolas
I was a second away from stripping her naked, bending her over the desk, and fucking her raw.
What the hell was I thinking?
Oh, that’s right, I wasn’t.
My anger spirals as I sweep a hand across my desk, sending the papers, stationery, and laptop flying.
Christé mou.
Breathe.
I suck in a breath, then let it out just as fast. I have to suppress the urge to roar like a fucking beast.
What the actual fucking fuck?
I’ve never lost control like this before. Yes, I have a quick temper, and if I want something, I take it. But…
Oh. Fuck.
The truth slams hard into my gut.
Lifting a hand to the back of my neck, I try to focus on calming down so I can think clearly.
Instead of finding my bearings, the memory of Tess’ swollen lips, the sound of her moans and whimpers, the feel of her heat clamping around my finger – it all bombards me.
She tasted like innocence… until she didn’t, and she melted on my tongue like a sinful prayer, rubbed against my hand, and rode my finger like a fucking pro.
My arm falls to my side. I breathe in and out, then admit what I’ve been doing my best to deny – I want her.
The thought of her putting herself in danger drove me insane. When James let me know she was missing, I almost lost my goddamn mind. I couldn’t do shit because I was elbows deep in Sicilian blood and guts until late last night.
James let me know when they found her at the park, and I told them to keep a safe distance. I wanted Tess to think she got away with her little escape stunt while my anger brewed, and I thought about the ways I would punish her.
None of them involved kissing her or making her come on my finger.