“Well, you see… I…”
Laughing, Remy shook his head. “Babe, if you were watching Netflix on your laptop and fell asleep, that’s nothing to be ashamed of.” He paused and then slowly trailed his eyes from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. “Or was it porn?”
The laugh that squeaked out of me was embarrassing. “Porn, no. Why would I be watching porn?”
Getting under the comforter, I nodded at the stuff he’d brought through and changed the subject. “What’s all of that? I thought he’d just need a normal painkiller and that gel stuff.”
“I didn’t know what to get when I was buying it, so I got one of everything they had. I’ve got four different gels, these holder things that you put it on and he bites down on to help his gums, and this one”—he held up a package and read the back—“that needs to go in the fridge so it’s cold.”
Throwing it to the side of the mattress away from the other stuff, he shook his head. “That one’s out tonight, but I’ll put it in tomorrow so he can try it.”
Item by item, he held up stuff, placing them in piles based on whether we could use them tonight or not. By the time he was done, we had roughly fifteen options for Toby to use tonight.
“What should I do?” Remy looked almost panicked as he glanced from the pile to where I was sitting with Toby on my lap.
“I’d start with the basics. Pop some of the gel on one of those things Bub’s meant to bite down on and see if it works. If it doesn’t, give him the painkillers and pop some gel directly on the gum.”
So, doing that, he got into my bed on the other side, and we snuggled the baby between us as he gnashed on the teething thing. What the hell were they even called? This one was called the Gelicious Teething Guard, but it didn’t say what the actual doohickey itself was officially named, just the brand.
With a fistful of his daddy’s t-shirt in one hand, and a lock of my hair clutched in the other, he went to town on it. His blinks began getting slower and longer, until he finally fell asleep, still holding both of us hostage.
Running my thumb across his forehead where it was all scrunched up, I smiled at how perfect the kid was.
“Thank you,” Remy whispered, making me jump. I was beyond aware that he was there—trust me, I was aware—but I hadn’t expected him to talk. “I probably would have tried everything. I have unrealistic expectations and panic when things don’t work on him instantly.”
A memory of him freaking out after he’d first brought Toby home hit me, making me snort out a laugh. “Remember at the beginning when he had colic, and you bought a swing that claimed it rocked them in a way that’d stop it happening?”
Throwing his arm over his eyes, Remy groaned. “Don’t remind me.”
“I did tell you it was bullshit, but you refused to listen to me,” I pointed out. “There was no way the angles and speed it rocked him at were going to help the colic.”
I started laughing hard enough to move the mattress but couldn’t hold it back. “Your face was too much when you turned it on, and the poor baby started swaying and rocking like he was on a bronco.”
“I called them up and threatened to sue them if they’d given him a traumatic brain injury.”
“I know,” I gasped, wiping the tears that’d fallen down the side of my face with the force of my laughter.
“I even started a thread on one of those parenting sites that warned them of the potential for shaken baby syndrome.”
“I know,” I repeated through a snort. “I’m on that site, too, and knew it was you right away.”
There was a deep growl, and then he pulled my hand away from my face so he could glare at me fully. “Are you serious? How did you know that was me? It could have been any parent who watched their kid being shaken around like a James Bond special.”
“Because your screen name was ‘rlkeyboardwarriorfl.’ You have a t-shirt and a mouse mat with ‘real life keyboard warrior’ on it on your desk and we live in Florida.”
“Shit,” he hissed quietly, glaring at the mattress. Then his head snapped up, and I had his irritation directed back at me again. “Wait a second, are you ‘mylittleponee?’”
Nodding, I laughed softly as he muttered a string of curses. “Thanks for letting me know.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I was being sarcastic.”
Grinning happily at him, I said, “I know.”
Shaking his head, he lay down and watched Bub for a moment. “What am I going to do with you?”
I wasn’t sure if he was talking to his son or me, so I stayed quiet, my focus on the Gelicious Teething Guard.