“No… I’ll manage …another…few minutes,” Brody stated, pushing himself upright he tried to smile through the searing pain sat across his chest. “I just need to …rest for a …bit.”
Kai shook his head and followed a staggering Brody to the bench, taking a slug from his water bottle on the way. Brody dropped down on to the bench and let out a contented grunt. “That’s better,” he gasped.
“I don’t know why you want to do this Brody, you are seriously unfit.”
Pulling out his cigarettes, he lit one and sighed. “Beats me dude, but it goes down well with the ladies when I tell them what a fitness fanatic I am.”
Kai let out a hearty laugh at his friend’s words. “Only you, Brody, would go to such lengths.”
“Talking of such lengths, you had any response yet from that advert you replied to?” Brody asked with a look of amusement across his face. His smile broke into a broad grin when he noticed Kai shift uncomfortably on the bench and divert his gaze into the distance of the park. “You have, haven’t you?” He lightly pushed Kai in the arm.
“Yes. I’ve had a reply.”
“Well come one then, disclose information, are you going to be a fake fiancé or what?” Brody inquired, stubbing his cigarette out underfoot. He watched Kai’s face and the anticipation within himself built up.
“No.” Kai replied quietly. “I don’t know what the hell possessed me to even respond in the first place.”
“That would be the copious amounts of alcohol you drank a couple of nights ago,” Brody laughed. His laugh died on his lips when he noticed the twitch in Kai’s jaw come to life. “Oh, my God, don’t tell me the fake fiancé was for a man?” He leant forward with wide eyes, trying hard to suppress the roaring chuckle that threatened to escape his mouth.
“What?” Kai gasped as he turned to look at the shaking body of his friend. “Of course, not! Well, at least I don’t think so anyway.”
“So, what’s the problem then?”
Shrugging, Kai leant back into the bench and crossed his left ankle over his right knee. “She thinks I’m a fat, old, balding bloke jerking off to her replies.”
A loud, raucous laugh echoed around the still of the park and Kai winced. “Bloody hell, Kai. How on earth did she come to that assumption?”
“How do I know? But that’s what she said, she also called me Rain Man and a dick head.”
Brody’s laughter became louder as he doubled over and tried to hide the tears that had begun to slide down his cheeks. “Oh…that’s…hysterical…Rain Man? Brilliant,” he mumbled.
Standing up sharply, Kai began stretching his arms out above his broad shoulders. “Well, I’m glad this has given you a laugh, Brody.”
“So, are you going to meet her?”
“Am I hell!” Kai scoffed. “I couldn’t spend a day with a woman like her, let alone a week. She’s rude, insulting and has an anger issue.” He replied as he began doing lunges.
“She sounds like a catch to me.”
“You apply for it then, see if you still think the same thing. No wonder the woman is single, she has a right attitude.”
“What I don’t understand is, how did you manage to instigate such name calling in the first place? What did you do?”
“What makes you think I did anything? I was drunk the night I replied to that advert, and until she contacted me I had no recollection of it.” Kai replied through strained breath. He continued to do a full exercise regime on the spot.
“Something triggered it, dude. All the women I’ve dated through that site have been all right.” Kai went quiet, and lowered his body to the ground, then began doing press ups. “Well?”
Groaning, Kai squatted to the ground, his toned thighs strained against the material of his shorts. “When she contacted me, I had no idea who she was, no recollection of the advert, replying, nothing. When I messaged her back to ask who it was, she told me I’d replied to her Shots advert.”
“Yes, and?” encouraged Brody.
Rubbing his hand along his defined jaw, he rolled his eyes. “When I said I’d never heard of it, she turned into Jackie Chan, calling me a freak and how I was more like Rain Man than Romeo.”
“Romeo?” Brody grimaced. Kai felt his cheeks flare red. Standing upright he began jogging on the spot again. “Romeo?” He repeated.
“Yes. I signed the reply to her advert, Romeo.”
“Dear God,” laughed Brody. “Please don’t tell me you called her Juliet? That’s so cheesy.”