Perfect Strangers

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

I craned my neck on tip toes and watched him pull up, he looked breathtaking in his Army uniform and older than his eighteen years. I couldn’t wait to see him, six months away training and now he had returned home on leave for the week until it was time for him to deploy and join his platoon in Germany.

I dashed down the stairs and ran down the drive as fast as my legs were able, pushing through the gate and running towards him shrieking at the top of my lungs “JJ, wait up.” He stopped and turned and his face broke out into the widest grin I’d ever seen. “Moo Moo,” he gushed as he picked me up and twirled me around.

“Darcy didn’t say you were coming home on leave?”

“She doesn’t know, neither do my parents. I’ve kept it a secret. You’ve grown, Moo. Tell me, are you still with Casper?”

“Yes, we are going through a sticky time right now,” I trailed off as I played with my hands.

“He never deserved you, one day you’ll see what’s in front of you.” he whispered. He kissed my cheek, ruffled my hair, and headed towards the door.

“You coming in?” he asked turning to look at me in the doorway with his devastating smile that made my knees knock together.

I’d been friends with JJ as long as I had with Darcy, in some ways he was like a brother I never had and in other ways he was my protector, always sticking up for me, coveri

ng for me and helping me out in my times of need. He didn’t like Casper and he had made it perfectly clear to me on several occasions, but Casper didn’t like him either, he always said JJ had a thing for me. They tolerated each other to keep the peace for Darcy’s sake. A part of me was freaked out by this but another part of me crushed on him, secretly. When he told me he was leaving to join the army, I was devastated. I couldn’t envision him not being there for me anymore.

“I’ll always be there for you, Moo. Right at the end of the phone. If you ever need me, you just call.” Those words will haunt me forever.

The week he came home, myself, Darcy, Casper, and JJ were inseparable. We went to the movies, hung out at the beach, went to parties, and even though I was underage, he always snuck me alcohol. Two days before he left, and after one of those parties, my secret crush on him was reciprocated when he felt the need to tell me he liked me, a lot. He wanted me to finish with Casper and be with him, saying he would wait for me until I’d finished school and could join him in Germany.

I laughed it off and told him he would find someone else his own age before I’d even got through the following year at school, but he uttered the same words to me again when I stood outside my house with my arms strangling the life out of him, as we said our goodbyes.

“I’ll wait for you, Moo. I love you,” he whispered as he cupped my cheek and kissed my forehead. It was to be the last time I ever saw him. I wish I had of told him I loved him too, I wanted to but I was with Casper, and I’d always been faithful.

I wish to God, I could change that fateful day. I wished it had been different. But it wasn’t different and I could never change what happened. I had to live with it.

It was my fault.

When I sat on that toilet waiting with baited breath for that negative result to show, I was a mess. I wanted to talk to Darcy and tell her, but I couldn’t. Every time I tried to tell her I thought I was pregnant with Casper’s baby, all she kept talking about was the way her brother looked at me when we hung out, she warned me to stay away from him and let him have his career. I should have listened. I should have done what she said.

But I didn’t.

When that test showed positive, I inwardly crumbled. I wanted to die. I was fifteen years old with a boyfriend who treated me like crap, but I was young and naive, I thought I was in love with him, I thought he would be my ever after. A bout of sickness washed over me as I leant over the toilet bowl and heaved my guts up, my mum is going to kill me, dad will have a shit fit, Grace will think I’ve done it on purpose. What am I going to do? How will Casper take this bombshell?

Cleaning myself up I hid the test under the mattress and called JJ. I locked myself in my room and cried for hours while I waited for him to get off guard duty and call me back. When he finally did, I was practically hysterical. My hyperventilating coupled with my incessant pants and screeches only served to worry him even more. When I finally uttered the words “I’m pregnant,” to him he went silent as he listened to my heavy sobs.

“Moo, this isn’t the end of the world and nor does it change anything. I still want you. I’m still here for you, like I promised. Have you spoke to Casper?”

“I haven’t told anyone yet. I’m terrified, JJ. Everyone will go crazy and I’ve no idea how to tell Casper, you know what his temper is like.”

“Don’t tell anyone. I will come home and I’ll be there for you when you tell everyone. If Casper walks away, you walk straight to me and I’ll take care of you.”

“You’re in Germany, you can’t possibly come back.”

“I have three days off after my next shift finishes, I’ll head straight home.”

“Thank you, JJ, that means the world to me.”

“Moo, I’ve told you. I’m always here for you. I’ll see you soon. I love you.” Then the phone disconnected. I never had a chance to say goodbye. I never had a chance to utter those three words back. That was the last time I heard his voice.

The following day I was sent home from school early, sick. My mother was supposed to be at work but she had had a virus for the past few days and I don’t recall her telling me she was staying at home. Letting myself into the house, I’d expected it to be empty, dad was away working and Grace was on a skiing trip. As I wearily clambered up the stairs day dreaming about JJ’s arrival, muffled moans coming from mum’s room caught my ears, I headed towards her bedroom door and put my hand on the handle. I wish I hadn’t opened it. I could hear a man’s deep voice, and the moans I thought I had heard were sobs. A deep-rooted fear and apprehension washed over me as a few words came to my hearing; Jonathon Junior, crash, autobahn, deceased.

I flung the door open to see Jonathon Banks, JJ’s and Darcy’s father and my mother crying, he was breaking his heart next to my mother on the bed and I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t see straight. My knees began to buckle underneath me as a high-pitched scream roared from my mouth. My mother jumped up and started to shout but I couldn’t hear what she was saying, her face was red with upset and her make up smeared.

She came towards me with her palms outstretched trying to calm me down and I lashed out, I hit her as I continually screamed “No not JJ. Not JJ.” I fell to the floor, my mother climbed on top of me and attempted to console me, my fists flying towards her face. I struck her and she struck me as she tried to pin me down, her hands were grasping at my body as she tried to calm me.