The Epic Crush of Genie Lo (The Epic Crush of Genie Lo 1)

37

The only sensation was that of the water stream getting smaller. My head was freed of the river, and I could breathe again. I put my hand up as a shield; it wasn’t a completely ineffective gesture.

The view was like Quentin’s skyward jump, slowed down to the extreme. Trees became smaller and smaller. The ground got farther and farther away. If we were in the city I might have been able to use the ascending floors of a nearby skyscraper like backdrop markers on a police lineup. As it was, I could only guess how big I was getting.

I got to my feet, unhindered by the square-cube law. I grew taller. And taller. Erlang Shen tried to shoot me down, and he even let up on Quentin to concentrate his efforts, but it was pointless. We were operating at different scales now.

I knew how big I needed to be. There was no need to go overboard. I just needed to grow to the size where the god hovering in midair was a little larger than the palm of my hand, relatively speaking.

Roughly the size of a volleyball.

I recognized the look on Erlang Shen’s face. I’d seen it on my opponents so many times, up close, masked only by the loose weave of a net. The look that said, Oh god, she can’t be that tall. Who paired me against her?

He turned to flee but caught a mouthful of Quentin’s shoulder. His collision with the Monkey King kept him spinning in the air. Quentin had given me the perfect set.

“MINE!” I screamed out of habit. My voice thundered over the mountain, warning anyone and everyone not to take my kill.

I spiked Erlang Shen into the ground with so much heat that I could have made the dinosaurs go extinct all over again. I highlight-reeled him. It made me sad that scouts for the national team weren’t watching.

And gods bounced, apparently. Who knew?

Erlang Shen dribbled away from my feet like a ball without enough air in it. Before he even came to a stop, he imploded around an infinitesimal point, some kind of gravity sucking his body inward into nothing, like a black hole. It happened without a sound.

Maybe when you were giant, everything seemed anticlimactic.

“Is he dead?” I asked. I winced after I spoke. I hated how loud I was.

“No,” answered Quentin, who managed not to come across as tinny. “Gods get a sweeter deal when their physical body is busted. It’s straight back to Heaven for him.”

“That’s BS.”

“Not this time. He’s committed blood treason against the Jade Emperor. There will be a quick hearing before he’s punished. There’s literally a special place in Hell for that crime.”

Of course—the only thing the Jade Emperor would act quickly upon was a threat to his rule. If it meant Erlang Shen getting what he deserved, though, I wouldn’t complain.

“Are you going to stay up there all day?” Quentin asked.

Shrinking down was easier and much less disturbing than drawing back an extended limb. Quentin and the ground came closer as if I were on a helicopter touching down. My body stopped naturally where it was supposed to. I could have tried to keep going and see what life would have been like as a size small, but there was no way I was ready to unpack all of that baggage right now. Regular, tall-ass Genie would suffice.

We were both still soaking wet. I figured watching Quentin shake the water from his hair like he’d emerged from the pool in a cologne ad was my reward for a job well done. His now-transparent shirt lapped at the muscles on his torso.

His eyes caught mine before doing a double take. “Holy crap,” he said. “Look at your arm.”

I yelped. The limb that Red Boy burned had been washed clean of rock dust.

Now it was shiny black from my fingers up to my elbow. The color of polished iron.

My nails were as golden as my true sight eyes. They glittered expensively in the sun, like unburied treasure.

I wiggled my fingers. There was no loss of motion or sensation. The transition between the iron and flesh was a fine ombré.

Hoo boy.

Rather than process this like I needed to, I let my mind slip away. It might return to me later. Right now my thoughts were as free as a bird.

“Hey, tell me something,” I said. “I never made it to the end of your book. What did your traveling group get for completing their quest?”

Quentin rubbed his chin. “Xuanzang was given Buddhahood. Sandy became an arhat. Pigsy got to be a shrine cleaner, which meant he could eat all the offerings of food people left for the gods. He couldn’t have been happier. Why?”