The Shadow of Kyoshi (Avatar, The Last Airbender)

Hei-Ran approached slowly, using a cane to assist her steps. She hadn’t bothered with dressing in finery. The stark parade uniform she wore enhanced the deliberateness of her movements. Her once solid-black hair was mingled with strands that had turned gray and wiry.

She looked older. That meant finally looking like Rangi’s mother, without a doubt, instead of her twin. The blaze in her eyes was still there, as clear and piercing as ever.

Kyoshi bowed, if only to escape the woman’s gaze for a moment. “I am grateful to see you in better health, Headmistress,” she said.

“And a little surprised, it seems?” Hei-Ran said.

Kyoshi tensed up. She’d made the wrong face. Again, this was why she needed her makeup, to hide the nuances of expressions she couldn’t control.

Hei-Ran brushed her own comment away. “You don’t have to pretend. I can’t believe I’m up and about either. They’re miracle workers, Water Tribe healers.” She sighed unhappily. “I can barely firebend right now though. It’s like being a child again, having to learn the basics and build my strength back up. A fitting punishment, given what I put Yun and you through.”

Kyoshi winced. A firebending teacher of Hei-Ran’s caliber losing her abilities felt like a tragic loss for the whole world.

“I still haven’t discovered who was responsible for this crime,” Kyoshi said. In her opinion the official inspectors had dropped the case prematurely. They’d found no records or messages as to why so many influential members of the Earth Kingdom had gathered in Yokoya that day, but that was suspicious in itself. “But I swear, I won’t let it drop.”

Pain coursed through Hei-Ran’s face. “Kyoshi, it was him. It was Jianzhu.”

It took a while for the dam to give way. Kyoshi’s old hatred, long stilled, came rushing over the banks once more. She turned to Rangi, who gave her a grim nod.

“The victims in Yokoya were his enemies come to oust him as the Avatar’s master,” Hei-Ran said. Her voice was strained and hoarse. “He caught me and himself in the attempt. Whether it was out of sloppiness, or to throw off suspicion, we’ll never know.”

Kyoshi closed her eyes and gripped the handle of one of her fans. It took so long for the threads of mistakes and monstrous deeds to stop weaving into the future, to just tie themselves off and end. Maybe they never ended.

A different pattern hung out of reach, one where Kelsang was alive, Hei-Ran had never been poisoned, and Lek was still sulking in a run-down teahouse in Chameleon Bay, longing for a bison. “I’m sorry,” Kyoshi said. “If I had been able to create a flame when you tested me . . .”

Remembering her past failure in front of Hei-Ran hurt all the more considering how much Kyoshi enjoyed the act of firebending these days. The flames came easily now when she danced with Rangi’s native element, and yet she had been so lacking back then. Kyoshi thought often about that little ball of tinder she had failed to set alight. Sometimes it drove her to tears, what could have been saved but for her weakness. “I’m sorry,” she repeated.

Hei-Ran laughed, a short, harsh bark. “You’re sorry. You’re apologizing to me.” The indomitable former commander began to shudder. She pressed her fingers to her eyes so hard that it looked like she was trying to gouge them out. Rangi was at her side in an instant, steadying her.

The bystanders were as surprised as Kyoshi at the show of emotions. But Hei-Ran collected herself before she shed any tears. Kyoshi had a feeling this was the furthest extent of the woman’s vulnerability.

“Kyoshi, I am the one who needs to apologize,” Hei-Ran declared with nary a crack in her voice. “I am so sorry for what I did to you. And for what I allowed Jianzhu to do to you and Yun. I could have put a stop to what was happening. I could have seen things clearly if I’d wanted to see them. I can never make this right.”

Kyoshi looked at Rangi’s hand on her mother’s elbow. It was a small gesture, the slightest touch, but it made Kyoshi think of the way she had wrapped her arms around Kelsang once, as he wept on an iceberg over his mistakes. It was hard to tell, given their stern, unyielding expressions, but here was a woman wracked by guilt, being comforted and supported by her loving daughter.

“Your recovery is a good start,” Kyoshi said.

Hei-Ran looked at her, puzzled.

“Toward paying your debt to me,” Kyoshi clarified. “What I demand from you, Headmistress, is your continued good health. I’ll accept no less than what I’m owed.”

“Kyoshi, this isn’t the time for jokes.”

“She’s not joking, Mother.” Rangi’s smile overflowed with love for them both. “She’s simply like that. Now swallow your pride and accept the decree of the Avatar.”

Hei-Ran laughed again, though there was no gladness in the sound. She patted her daughter’s hand. “I’m all right. Go find Sifu Atuat. I need a moment alone with Kyoshi.”

Rangi clipped her heels together and left to retrieve whoever this Atuat person was. Hei-Ran gathered herself and stared down Kyoshi. How she managed to do that from her lower height was a mystery.

“Kyoshi, I want you to know something,” she said. Hei-Ran’s voice lost what was left of its earlier emotion and turned into a cold, unflinching whisper, simply measuring and reporting the dimensions of the truth. “I would kill him. I would kill him for what he did to you, and Kelsang, and Yun, and my daughter. I want you to know that, Kyoshi. I want you to believe it. If he were here, right now, I would kill Jianzhu in front of this entire crowd.”

The space between Kyoshi and Hei-Ran changed like steel being quenched, hardening into an ancient and well-understood design. Her true reconciliation with Rangi’s mother lay here, not in tearful public apologies.

“So would I,” Kyoshi said.

“Good girl.” Hei-Ran glanced in the direction her daughter had gone. “Rangi . . . ultimately, she is kind. No amount of drilling or hardship will ever change that about her. Which means there are places she will never go, places that are barred to her. You may have to visit them on her behalf, to protect her and others.”

Kyoshi still struggled with the actions she took as the Avatar in defense of the world’s peace and balance. But protecting Rangi was a matter that turned her into a different being, small and rat like and vicious enough to live inside a thin shadow. She chose her words carefully to Hei-Ran, filling in the limits she was sure of. “I know exactly what to do with anyone who would hurt your daughter.”