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Perfect Strangers

Page 32

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"Yeah," Nancy replied with a pained look on her face. She glanced around the parking lot before looking back at Veronica. "I'll see you."

The two women turned and walked to their respective cars, Veronica with her eyes set on hers. She was looking forward to leaving and going home -- or maybe not going home after all. Maybe just driving away from everything. Maybe just getting into her car and driving as far as she possibly-

"Veronica!"

Veronica turned her head at the sound of her name being called. Parked at the edge of the lot and leaning with his back against his car was Jason, his hands in his jacket pockets. He was looking directly at Veronica. She blinked back at him.

Jason was here. She blinked again to make sure she wasn't seeing things, but he remained where he was. He raised his eyebrows and she realized that she was stopped mid-step in the middle of the parking lot. She mentally shook herself and, glancing around, began walking towards Jason.

Her heart hammered in her chest. How long had he been waiting? Was he actually on the walk but she just didn't notice him? Why was he here? Was he still mad at her?

She walked up to him and stopped about 3 feet away, not sure if she should go any closer. He didn't move, didn't take his hands out of his pockets. He had a cigarette burning in his mouth, the trail of smoke lazily streaming up into the air.

"Jason," she breathed, looking into his eyes. He was looking back at her, his expression hard to read. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, only looked at her. Then he jerked his head in the direction of the park.

"How was the walk?" he asked.

Veronica blinked again. "Fine," she responded.

"I'm sorry I missed it," he said. "It's a beautiful day."

"Me too," Veronica said.

Jason kept on looking at her, not speaking, his expression still unreadable. Finally he lifted a hand and took the cigarette from his mouth, flicking it off to the side. He cast his eyes downward and breathed a sigh.

"So Veronica, I've been doing some thinking," he said. "I've been thinking about ... the last time we were together, when we were at the bluffs. And I've been thinking that ... maybe the way that I reacted wasn't exactly how I should have reacted."

He looked up at her but she didn't say anything. He kept going.

"I'm not ... I'm not used to being with someone who makes me feel the way I do when I'm with you," he said. "The women I usually get involved with … they don't mean that much to me, and I don't mean that much to them either. And that's the way I had always known things. And that's what I was planning on doing when you and I first got together. I saw you and thought to myself, 'Hey, here's a hot woman who looks like she's bored with her life. Maybe I can get laid and show her a good time.'"

Veronica inhaled through her nose and exhaled, but still she didn't say anything. Jason cast his eyes down to the ground again and kept talking.

"And that's basically what I expected to happen: we would hook up once, maybe twice, and never see each other again. After the night at the water tower I wasn't planning on coming back to this walking group anyways. But something made me come back. You made me come back. I ... wanted to see you again, and so I did.

"And then we started spending time together, Veronica, and the more we did the more I realized that I enjoyed being time with you. That's never happened to me before. Whenever I'm with someone for too long, or I feel like a girl's getting too clingy, I cut and I run. I skip town. But I didn't do that with you. I even gave you my phone number, which I haven't done with anyone before, ever."

Jason took a deep breath in and let it out, squinting in the sunlight. Veronica watched him as he spoke, still keeping her distance.

"And then, a couple of days ago when we were at the bluffs," he went on, "you started asking me about my past. And about my ... my scars. And I haven't told anyone about my scars before, okay? It's not just you. They're not ... it's not a nice story, Veronica. It's a part of my life that I'd rather not remember. But when you asked me about them, instead of closing off, for the first time I actually wanted to talk about them. I wanted to tell you, and open up to you. I wanted you to be the first to know what happened to me.

"And that scared me, a lot. It made me think that I might open up to someone and just be thrown in the gutter again, that you might leave me and I would be stuck on my own, just like before. So I freaked out. I got scared and I wanted to get away from everything that was happening. From you. And so I told you to leave.

"And to tell you the truth, as I was driving away, all I could think about was packing up my stuff again and leaving for a new town, somewhere to start it all over again. But when I got home and I stopped for a second I could … smell you, on my clothes. And it made me not want to leave anymore. It made me want to be with you, and hold you.

"I'm tired of changing lives over and over again, Veronica. I'm tired of running away from things when they get too real. I don't want to leave this place. And least of all, I don't want to leave you."

Jason lifted his eyes and Veronica saw that they were glistening, rimmed with red. He sniffed and blinked, and a tear rolled down his cheek.

"I'm sorry I acted that way to you, Veronica," he said. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just ... scared."

Veronica took a step towards him and he stiffened up. She paused for a moment before taking another, so she was right in front of him, their bodies almost touching. Taking a deep breath, Veronica lifted her arms and wrapped them around Jason's body. She held him in her arms and felt his body slowly relax as he lowered his head into her shoulder. He raised his arms and put them around her in turn, pulling them closer together.

Veronica nuzzled her head into Jason's shoulder and felt his body softly convulse against hers. She squeezed him tighter, his face digging deeper into her shoulder as he cried silently against her. Veronica held him, not moving, not saying anything while he let himself go.

When the convulsions had slowed down Jason pulled back a little, sniffing wetly, keeping his head downcast. Veronica looked up into his face, and she could see shiny streaks down below his eyes.

"Hey," she whispered to him, and he slowly raised his head to look at her. She smiled and he gave a watery smile back. "It's okay," she whispered. "It's okay."



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