Carter Reed (Carter Reed 1)
Page 82
“That boyfriend of hers-”
“He wasn’t really her boyfriend. He never had been.”
“He wanted to be. I’m guessing he was pissed when she dated Dunvan. I’m guessing he thought he had put in his time, waited it out for her to finish with the last guy and he was next in line. Then when she started dating Dunvan, he was over all the time. He was calling? Maybe even stopping by the apartment when she was out with him?”
How did he know this?
Carter continued, “When you went to him, he was able to be the knight in shining armor. I bet he loved that. He had it in the bag. He probably convinced her that first night that she couldn’t stand the feel of Dunvan’s touch, she wanted another man’s touch.”
“She didn’t want to feel him anymore. She wanted to feel me. She wanted another man’s touch.”
I remembered Ben’s words and the scratches down his back. He hadn’t even looked remorseful except that she was crying. He had made her cry again.
“Emma?”
I focused on Carter again and blinked, startled. Why did he have to be so beautiful? And his wolf eyes, icy blues. Why did he have to save me? I murmured, “You should’ve left me alone.”
He drew in a deep breath.
I kept going, numb now. “You should’ve let them kill me back then. I could’ve been with AJ all these years. You would’ve been fine. You were going places. You got accepted to college before. Why didn’t you go?”
He leaned back against the counter. His arms slipped to my hips and he held me loosely between his feet. “You want to have this conversation now?”
“Indulge me.”
He stared at me, studying me. “Why now?”
I shrugged, turning away.
He caught my chin and pulled me back. “Why, Emma? What’s going on in that head of yours?”
I didn’t move from his hold. I wanted to lean into him. I wanted him to wrap his arms around me again and I wanted everything to go away. But it wouldn’t. She was dead. I had
felt it. I knew something was wrong, but Amanda convinced me everything was fine. I had bought it. I really thought Mallory was happy somewhere, off with him, but Carter was right. Ben had done all of those things.
“You’re right.”
“About?”
Everything hurt. “About Ben. He said she wanted another man’s touch. I thought he really loved her.”
“He was sick in the head.” He tugged me closer to him. I closed my eyes when he moved to my neck and pressed a kiss there. I belonged to him. Why did I even fight against it sometimes? A feeling of being claimed, liking it, was mixed with emptiness. Mallory should’ve been alive. She wasn’t. I was, and I was with Carter. I was with my soul mate while she had her baby cut out of her.
He murmured against my skin, “You tried to save her, but you can’t give your life for hers. She’s gone, Emma.”
A shudder went through me.
“She brought Dunvan into your lives. You were all doomed the second that happened.” He pulled on my arm. “You know I’m right. Somewhere in there, you know I’m right. You can be angry at her.”
My head whipped to his. “She just died.”
“She died a long time ago,” he said flatly. “You know that. You’ve always known that.”
I shook my head. “This is why you should’ve let me go. None of this would’ve happened. She might not have met him. I wouldn’t have even been her roommate. Maybe I was supposed to die, Carter. Maybe you weren’t supposed to save me or kill all those guys for AJ-”
“I killed them for you. They were looking for you. I wasn’t going to let that happen.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t stop shaking my head. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. She shouldn’t have died like that. I should’ve stayed-”