Stop comparing April to her! They are like day and night.
April was the girl who had my heart in her fragile hands even from afar. And she gave me a memory of a lifetime. This girl, Acacia… is not someone I can compare April to, I don’t understand the ties that are binding us together.
Why the hell do I keep thinking of both of them in the same train of thought? Why the hell do I keep noticing little details about Acacia, like the little mole behind her left ear and the faint freckles over her nose. I should stay away from this girl. My mind becomes a mess when I’m near her.
The ding of the coffee machine brings me back to the present, I grab two mugs from the cabinet and head toward the fridge. I come to a stop when I see the letters on the fridge door. I used to play with them when I was a kid but didn’t even notice them ‘til now… until they were put in order to create a message: Good morning…
I turned back to the living room to see if Acacia had woken up, but she was still asleep after a restless night. I checked the fire; it’s still crackling with the fresh logs I brought in early this morning. I stopped myself from reaching for her to check her temperature or move the hair that fell from her forehead. Instead, I keep walking.
The same message haunts me when I re-enter the kitchen.
Who wrote this?
I caress the letters with my fingers before rearranging and scattering them back all over the fridge. When I turned back to the living room one last time, Acacia wakes up. But she shrieks when she sees me enter the room, trying to mask her fear with eagerness.
“Is that coffee?” she asks.
I don’t speak - I can’t, I just nod. My mind is all over the place; my reaction to her, feeling like I’m cheating on April in a way, and finally the message on the fridge haunts me.
Handing her the mug I say, “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay. Thank you,” she smiles, but her scream fills the house the moment my dog Casper flies into the room. I must have left open the back door, again.
She spills all of the coffee on her, but she is so scared she tries to wrap herself up in her blanket again, not even minding being burned by the hot coffee. I grab Casper and gently push him toward the door again.
“Acacia, shh… he left,” I try to calm her, but she’s shaking like a leaf.
“The back door can’t be locked properly. I must have left it open. Sorry,” I murmured as she starts to cry.
“It’s not the dog. I’m sorry. He must have been scared by my reaction. It’s just the sudden movement… after last night,” she sobs again. “I better leave,” she blurts out, standing to her feet like she is in a rush.
“No, you can stay ‘til you feel better.”
“Thank you, but I need to go. I need to be in the bar anyway,” she protested.
“At least let me give you a t-shirt to wear. You’re soaked. Are you hurt?”
“No. It’s only my t-shirt. It didn’t burn,” she murmurs, trying to smooth her hair. She looks too jumpy and even though I don’t want to care; I feel angry towards the cocksucker who made her feel like this. I don’t want to think what could have happened to her if I didn’t turn up last night - that thought runs through my mind again.
Taking a deep breath, I take a step closer to her and carefully reach out my hands and place them gently on her shoulders. “Acacia… relax. It’s okay to be scared. No one expects you to act nonchalant after what you experienced last night.” nodding at me barely.
I sigh, half relieved, half worried, but tell her calmly, “You can’t go back to the bar like this Acacia, you’re in no fit state.”
“I have to go, Ashton, I got a newbie, I need to train her and... I need to be busy. I won’t let that piece of shit ruin me. I need to work.”
Sighing aloud, I nod. “Okay. At least let me give you a tee to wear.” I turn from her and make my way to my bedroom, closing the door behind me quietly, I place my forehead on the cold wood, taking a few minutes to myself to get my head on straight. This girl is doing something to me, pulling me in a direction I don’t want to venture into.
~*~
My t-shirt is falling off of her one shoulder and does nothing to hide her bright blue bra, doing nothing to help me avert my gaze from her perfect bare skin. I should have chosen another color than white, now she’ll think I did that on purpose. I turn my eyes away from her and only look back at her once she’s put her leather jacket on.
“Are you ready?”
“Yeah, I can go myself if you’re busy,” she says.
I look at her ridiculous. “By yourself? On the mountain road? It’s too dangerous and not in the right state of mind to drive along there.”
Laughing sarcastically, she says, “Right. You’d think I’d learnt my lesson.”