Earthling Ambassador (Space Brigade 1)

"My name is Georgio Gorgioskio, and I've traveled from the other side of the galaxy on a very important, top secret mission that doesn't concern you. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to have to kneel down.The ceilings on your planet are disgracefully low, aren't they?"

With that, Georgio knelt down and somehow managed to shuffle quite gracefully into the classroom on his knees. The top hairs of his head lightly grazed the lightbulb.

He inclined his head politely at the class.

"I'm afraid, ah, Madam, I must respectfully ask you to leave," said Georgio to Mrs. Zucchini. "My business only concerns your students. Please remove yourself."

There was a gentle ripple of pleased huh! and confused huh? sounds around the classroom.

Mrs. Zucchini's face reminded Nicola of a pot about to boil over. "I don't know who you are, or where you have come from," she spluttered.Tiny balls of spit flew from her mouth in all directions. "But I will certainly not be leaving this classroom! This is my classroom! You have no right to order me around, you, you--beanpole!"

Up until then, Georgio had been listening with a courteous, mildly interested expression, but at the word beanpole, his face changed.

"DON'T YOU EVER, EVER CALL ME A BEANPOLE,YOU DREADFUL ZUCCHINI-FACED WOMAN!" He extended one long arm, grabbed Mrs. Zucchini by the throat, and thrust her from the classroom like a ra

g doll.

The class erupted.

The bad boys in the back thumped their fists on their desks and gave each other high fives, yelling, "GO GEORGIO!" Even the really good students in the front clapped and cheered politely.

"Thank you! Why, thank you!" Georgio looked quite touched and gave a little bow.

"Now, if I could ask for your attention."

Instantly the class was quiet. It was the sort of quiet that Mrs. Zucchini only experienced in her dreams.

Georgio paused for a moment and then he lifted his chin. His bright blue eyes blazed and he held his hands out wide. "I am here to find the Earthling Ambassador."

Everyone stared at him.They had no idea what he was talking about, but it certainly sounded intriguing.

Georgio looked annoyed. "DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? I'M HERE TO FIND THE EARTHLING AMBASSADOR!" he thundered.

There was silence. Nobody knew what to say.

Georgio dropped his arms. "I see you don't keep up with current affairs.Well, I'll be brief. I'm currently testing all school-age children throughout the world to see if I can find the one qualified to take on the role of Earthling Ambassador. If I find the Ambassador, he or she will then join me on a top secret intergalactic mission."

Greta Gretch's hand shot straight in the air and she waved it about madly.

Georgio looked startled, as if he'd never seen such a thing before. "Are you all right?" he asked worriedly. "Do you suffer from some sort of medical condition? I'm afraid I'm not very good with that sort of thing."

"I just wanted to ask a question," said Greta. "What qualifications do you need for the position of Earthling Ambassador? It's just that I'm class captain, so I have excellent leadership abilities."

"I was just getting to that, you strange girl!" said Georgio. "I am the president of a rather exclusive committee comprised of some of the most highly intelligent, astute thinkers you're ever likely to meet.Together we have come up with a very complex, very clever testing process to help pinpoint exactly the right person to undertake this mission. I won't explain more because trying to understand would make your little brains explode, which would be messy. All you need to know is that we believe there is only one child on this entire planet with the necessary qualities to successfully complete the mission. So far, I have tested over two billion, three hundred forty-two thousand children without success! That means I have--" He did some quick calculations on his fingers, muttering to himself. "--over four trillion, five hundred twenty-three children to go!"

For a moment he seemed depressed at the thought of all those children still to be tested, but then he brightened. "Who knows!" he cried. "The Earthling Ambassador might be in this very classroom sitting right in front of me! The Earthling Ambassador could, for example, be YOU!" He pointed at Lizbeth-Ann Roberts, who was extremely pretty and in love with herself.

Everybody stared jealously at Lizbeth-Ann as she flicked her ponytail and batted her eyelashes. Georgio narrowed his eyes and gave Lizbeth-Ann another look. He frowned in distaste. "Although I rather doubt it," he said, and Lizbeth-Ann pouted.

"ENOUGH DILLYDALLYING!" shouted Georgio. "Let the testing begin! Everybody to your feet! In just a few minutes we will know if the Earthling Ambassador is in THIS CLASSROOM!"

CHAPTER 3

Everybody stood quietly at his or her desk. Nicola's heart pounded like she was at the very top of a roller-coaster ride.

She looked over at Tyler, who was standing stiffly at attention, as if he were in an army parade. Nicola knew that Tyler would want to be the Earthling Ambassador so badly he probably had a headache.When Georgio had said the words "intergalactic mission,"Tyler's chin had jerked up and the tips of his ears had gone bright red.Tyler's dream was to be an astronaut. He was always saying things like, "I can't wait to get off this planet," and he kept writing to NASA, asking for a part-time after-school job.

He was also very intelligent, and although he wasn't necessarily very brave, Nicola thought he would be a great Earthling Ambassador. She hoped he got it. She hoped Greta Gretch didn't get it.