“No one can know who you are, Ava,” she said. “Do you understand? This is gravely important. Please, promise me.”
I nodded slowly, thinking about my words carefully. Who would I possibly tell? Mother kept us so heavily guarded that me and my sisters didn’t know anyone else, and there was no way in hell I was involving them in this. “All right. I’ll say my father was a human, and that he died when Bella was born. Would that work?”
“Yes.” She nodded enthusiastically. “Well, no. We can’t have anyone knowing you have sisters. Not yet, anyway. Do not tell anyone about your sisters either. Okay? And speaking of which, are they safe?” Her eyes searched mine, trying to read me.
I nodded. “Yes, they are...”
Alison held up her hand. “Do not tell me where they are,” she said firmly. “If I am questioned, I want to be able to say I don’t know anything. They have ways to get the truth out of people—magical ways. Painful ways. I don’t want them to know I know anything because they’ll realize you’re out there. Your mother is already gone. They might find your sisters. That would be the worst thing to happen. You cannot say—”
“I get it.” I didn’t mean to snap but I was starting to lose my patience.
No. It wasn’t my patience that was affected.
I was starting to get overwhelmed, and judging by the way she stumbled over her words, she was as well.
Wow, she’s really worried.
“Um...” I changed the direction of the conversation. “Okay... well, tell me, Alison... why do you live here? By yourself? Why aren’t you in the magical realm?”
Alison picked up another piece of cake, carrot this time, and took a bite. “I grew up in the magical realm, but when your mother escaped to have you, I followed her.” She shrugged. “She was my best friend. I wanted to help her, but I also craved the calm of the human world. It’s... nice.”
I glanced around her small house. “I wouldn’t know.”
I hadn’t had any real experience in either.
“There’s something intoxicating about the magical realm,” she admitted. Her head was cocked to the side, as though she wanted to choose her words with care. I couldn’t tell if it was for my sake or for hers. “To a witch, it’s home. It’s comfortable and filled with an electricity only you can feel. But it also feels inescapable. Sometimes, there’s a sense of drowning with no real way to save yourself. In that respect, it’s almost scary. It’s as though you can’t escape something that should be so natural for you.”
I let out a breath. My knee bounced up and down, up and down. At this point, I didn’t know if I should be intimidated of a realm that was supposed to be a home to me simply because I was magic, or if I should feel more comfortable in a place outside of that, like the human world. I had no familiarity with either place. Mother had isolated us. She did it, probably, because she though it would protect us, but now, I was worried that her overprotection made us ignorant.
“So, what’s the plan, Ava?” Alison said. She still had the cake in her hands, a couple pieces of walnuts falling to the floor. Something inside of me itched to pick them up, as though this entire conversation was stressing me out enough where I felt compelled to clean everything.
I was tired of cake. = I flicked my wrist and conjured up a plate of sandwiches. Sweets weren’t really my thing. I hoped Alison didn’t think I was rude. I appreciated the gesture but if I was going to chew on thoughts, I might as well chew on actual food I could enjoy.
“Well, I need somewhere safe for my sisters and I to live for the rest of our lives,” I said slowly. I reached for a sandwich but still did not take a bite. It was like I thought I was hungry, but not quite hungry enough to eat. Not just yet. “But I also think we need to find a place in the magical realm.”
Alison inhaled sharply. “Why would you do that?” she asked, judgment laced in her tone. “Why not just come into this town, set up a house, and get a job, if you want to? You can meet some of the nice human men, get married, maybe? You wouldn’t have to put yourself or your sisters at risk. You wouldn’t have to put yourself in a position where you could be discovered.”
The way Alison was going on, you’d think she was our grandmother or something. It annoyed me, only because I hadn’t seen her in a long time. Just because she knew my mother, just because she understood my mother in a way I never would, did not mean she was entitled to tell me what I should and should not do.
“Alison, I’ve been kept from the magical realm my whole life,” I said. “It is where we should have grown up, among our own kind. Learning magic and meeting people like us. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in the dark. Sure, it’s a risk, but I can’t live being scared. As a witch, I have a right to be where our magic dwells.”
Alison sighed. “You want to meet your father.”
I threw my hands up in the air, standing up again. “Of course, I do!” I burst out. I didn’t mean to be so aggressive with my words, but it was frustrating that she refused to see this from my perspective. I needed to learn who I was. That meant going back to the magical realm. And yes, that meant meeting my father. “Why is that so wrong?”
“It isn’t. It’s completely natural,” she said. She inhaled slowly. “I will help you.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t expecting that. She didn’t seem like she wanted to help me. She seemed like she wanted to dissuade me from going in the first place. As my muscles relaxed, the fight went out of me. I didn’t want to argue. I also didn’t want to be told what to do anymore. I just wanted answers. I wanted to understand who I was, what powers rested inside of me, why my mother was the way she was.
Then, as the words settled into my head even more, I clapped my hands together, gratitude spilling over me.
“Thank you,” I said.
“But!” She held up one finger, akin to placing her hand over my mouth. “On one condition. And that is that you conceal who you are. Lie. To everyone. You must not risk yourself. I understand your desire to know who you are. I do. But I cannot let you put yourself in danger simply for a knowledge you don’t need to have to survive. You must also remember that this isn’t just about you, either. You must consider the welfare of your sisters. I’m assuming they aren’t here because you’re protecting them?”
“I want them to settle before traveling, if they want to travel,” I said. “They might not be as concerned about the magic realm as I am. They might not care about Father or anything else.”
I started to pace again, slowly this time, with less purpose. My gaze gripped the ground before me. I wasn’t sure what my sisters wanted. I only knew what I wanted. But I could not deny Alison’s point, either. If I was going to go to the magic realm, it wouldn’t be fair of me to inadvertently put them at risk.