Courtney stared at me, soaking in what I was telling her, then nodded.
“Okay.”
She pulled her headphones onto her ears and walked off to her room, leaving me alone in the lounge room with my thoughts.
I collapsed onto the couch, letting the air leave my lungs in a big whoosh of relief. We were on the right track. Bella had come to my rescue, and Tavlor looked more excited about the prospect of re-instating me than I’d thought.
Now I just had to get ready for the night ahead.
With everything going on, with what was going to happen, I wanted a night where I was in full control of the outcome. Where I knew exactly what to expect. Where I could feel love and give love and not be scared, for once in my life.
Tonight, I was determined to finally lose my virginity to Tavlor.
THE REST OF THE DAY went quickly, with Tavlor and Bella studying, Courtney relaxing in her room, and me doing anything to stay busy.
I cooked dinner. I went for a short walk, then had a long shower and washed my hair. I didn’t want to be smelly before our time together. God, I didn’t even want to think about it.
Even though I wanted to make love to Tavlor, if he’d have me, I was still nervous. I wanted to make sure everything was perfect, but deep down, I knew I couldn’t control that.
Regardless of my concern, I knew without a doubt that I was ready for tonight. For Tavlor to spend the night in bed. Assuming he still felt as he did last time he was here. I was finally ready to cross the threshold that separated us and join together as one.
“Dinner time,” I called to the house as I arranged the food on the table.
Instead of conjuring everything up, I had decided to actually cook the food I served, which left me more nervous than I cared to admit. I’d managed to actually make a salad with everything Bella had grown in the garden, some eggs from the chickens—albeit from magical origins—and a meat pie.
At the thought of my mother’s friend who’d betrayed me, I frowned at the food. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.
“Are you alright?” Tavlor asked as he passed by me and squeezed my arm. My skin tingled at the touch.
“Yeah, what did the food do to you?” Courtney said with a chuckle as she sat down at the table.
I tried to laugh it off.
“All good,” I said. I didn’t want to tell them about Mallory. I didn’t think I needed to make a big deal of it. There was nothing that would change it now. “Just thinking about a few things, I shouldn’t be. Let’s have some dinner and relax.”
They all agreed, and we tried to stick to light topics through the meal, which generally meant stories of our mother and our weird childhood. Tavlor didn’t offer any stories of his own but listened intently to us. He even had a glass of our mother’s wine and laughed while we joked with one another.
He still looked stiff, still looked unsure between the three of us, but he was smiling a lot more, and his shoulders were down so there was no tension in them any longer.
By the time we’d eaten and laughed the night away, it was dark. And it was time to go to bed.
My heart fluttered. My mouth went dry. I rubbed my hands together, but they were clammy. I wasn’t sure any more about tonight. Did I really want this?
If you don’t do it now, you might not ever, a voice pointed out. If you want this, take advantage of it. Don’t wake up tomorrow, regretting that you had an opportunity that you let slip away all because you were scared.
I opened my mouth and smothered a fake yawn, looking towards my sisters.
“Bedtime, I think,” I said. I hoped I wasn’t as obvious as Courtney seemed to believe me to be.
Bella hid a smile in her books as she packed up to go to bed and Courtney sat on the couch with a huge grin on her face, as though preparing for a long-awaited show.
Tavlor looked towards me as though waiting for instructions and I stood up and flicked my head towards my bedroom.
“Coming?” I asked in a voice that was terribly high-pitched.
I cleared my throat.
He nodded and got to his feet. I was glad he didn’t ask questions. I was already nervous and I didn’t need him to inadvertently add to it, or I’d lose my nerve for sure.