But then he stepped back, his hands falling to his sides, and his blue eyes wide with both horror and regret. Just great. The way the expression on his face sucked any hope or joy right out of my life.
“Garrett.”
“Fuck,” was all he said. Then he turned and headed for the open gate with a muddy Gene at his heels. And I stood there and watched him go.
Me: I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk.
“He kissed you in the rain, then freaked out and ran away?” asked Cézanne. “Seriously?”
I nodded and continued sorting through the sales rack at a cool little boutique we’d found in Falls Creek. Makeovers required stuff. Magda sold an organic range of makeup and hair products. But not living in tees and jeans or leggings constantly required an actual trip out of town. And my current bad mood due to a certain man required retail therapy.
Sunday was a busy day in Falls Creek. Lots of tourists. They wandered in and out of the shops and restaurants with smiles on their faces. As much as I’d love to see this sort of interest in Wildwood, I had no idea how to make it happen. It would take resources, and our township had next to none.
“You made a grown man run away in fear.” Cézanne shook her head. “Impressive.”
“The terror and shame on his face was a lot,” I said, holding up a floral gray-and-white sleeveless cotton top with a button front and beautiful tie-waist feature. “What about this?”
“Nice. It’s reduced because there’s a spot of lipstick on the collar. But you can blot that off with some rubbing alcohol.”
“I tried texting him last night, but nada.”
“Maybe he just needs time to process the experience and his feelings before sitting down with you and talking it through.”
I gave her a look. “You don’t believe that.”
“It would be nice, though, wouldn’t it?” She sighed. “How are you holding up?”
“I can’t compete with Grace.” I shrugged. “She was basically superhuman. Beautiful and amazing and talented. I’m not being down on myself. It’s just the truth.”
“You are sort of being down on yourself.”
“Maybe a little. But you can see where I’m coming from.”
“You’re beautiful and amazing and talented too in your own way.”
“Aw. Thanks, Mom.” I grinned and dodged as she aimed an elbow at me. “But he’s not ready. I’m not even sure if I’m ready.”
She passed me a navy ruffled square-neck sleeveless top. “Try this on. It’s a good price and you have great breasts.”
“Are you going to try anything?”
“No.”
I just waited.
“I’m pregnant,” she admitted with a smile.
And I smiled back at her.
She smacked me on the arm. “You knew? Ani, how did you know?”
“Like you weren’t sipping water at Margarita Night and avoiding the soft cheese at the winery tasting I helped you with last Saturday.”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because it’s your choice when to tell people,” I said. “Or if you tell them at all. And I could have been wrong. You could have been changing your eating habits for whatever reason. But I’m delighted you’re having a baby. Can I be nosy and ask how far along you are?”
“Nine weeks. Still early days. But I’m so happy, and Mike is just over the moon.”
“Good.” I gave her a hug. “You two are going to be great parents.”
“But this is a big-ass change, and you hate change.”
I shrugged. “Maybe change isn’t so bad. The fact is, regardless of how I feel about it, I can’t stop it because the world keeps turning. And change like this, you making a mini you, that’s all sorts of awesome. The world needs more of you.”
“Thank you. You’re going to be a good aunt.” She pulled a pair of khaki utility pants off a nearby shelf. “Try these. There’s a small hole in the butt of the leggings you’re wearing.”
“A new pair of pants it is!”
The AC died just after one in the morning on Tuesday. I had been meaning to replace the old unit. However, recent purchases of a new secondhand vehicle and an update to my wardrobe and makeup had delayed things. My father would have given me a stern lecture on my priorities, but oh well.
Of course, each door and window in the cabin was locked tight. I had let myself double-check the fact only twice. As per the advice of the therapist I’d seen way back when, I was attempting to set limits on my obsessive behavior and learning how to build trust in myself. Which also meant, in no time at all, the cabin would be hot, muggy, and all-round hellish.
Swearing hadn’t helped. And there was no way I was going to call my friends at this hour and ask if anyone had a fan I could borrow. Also, even if I did, it would only be circulating hot air. I needed to open the windows in the bedroom at the very least.