I inhale a deep breath, fighting back tears. Fighting back the hope of bringing light back into my life. I don’t deserve it, and Chase doesn’t deserve the baggage I come with. He has baggage too. You can fix each other. We can’t. And I can never let him know I was the reason the only person I’ve ever loved died. I wouldn’t be able to bear the look of disgust—the same look my parents bore on me for being with him—the same destructive look his mother seared me with for what I cost her.
A knot tightens in my stomach, and I slide my phone back into my pocket. “Okay, Anna. Game’s over. Time to get ready for dinner.” I reach for the last door, but the knob doesn’t turn. I jiggle it again, to no avail. “Anna? Are you in here?” I call out. A keypad rests above the handle, requesting a passcode to get in. “Anna, come on. This isn’t funny.” I push a couple digits, and the keypad flashes red. I try again, as if I have any chance of getting it right.
“Are we lost?”
I jump out of my skin at the deep sound of his voice. My body jolts, and I fall backwards into Jonathon. His large hands grab at my waist as I stumble.
“Oh my god! You scared me to death. I—I was just trying to get in. Not spy or anything—Anna is hiding. I wasn’t sure if she locked herself in this room.” I turn with him still holding me. The hallway is barely lit, but I can still see the depths of his blue eyes gazing down at me. “I—”
“My apologies. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Oh…uh, it’s okay. I wasn’t trying to snoop—”
“It’s fine. But she’s not in there.”
“Oh…okay.” We stand there for a beat until his eyes fall on his hands, still holding me. He slowly releases me and steps away. “I guess hide and seek is not one of my strong suits. I swore I heard her down here, but—”
“Anna is too good at that game. I should have warned you to suggest another game if she ever brought it up. She had the last nanny in tears and on the verge of calling the authorities before she finally came out.”
My eyes widen. “Oh my God.”
“When the house was built, they had secret passages built in to make it easier for their staff to get around without disturbing the owners. Anna likes to lure the sitters down here and take the secret stairs back up, leaving them to fend for themselves. She’s actually in her room getting ready for dinner.”
What! That little… “Oh, well…okay then. I’m sorry—”
“Do not apologize. She’s a bright little girl who doesn’t make the best decisions. She’s the one who owes you an apology. For the future though, this room is strictly off-limits. Now, come. Let’s get settled in for dinner. I’ve had a hellish day. Some good food and company are just what I need to make it better.”
I nod, and he raises his hand for me to go first. Even knowing he’s behind me, I can’t help but look back, my eyes searching out the lock on the door.
Dinner is pleasant, as always. I really enjoy Jonathon’s company. I can’t deny he’s a very attractive man. His jet-black hair, always perfectly in place. His hard cheek bones and devilish smile. You would have to be blind not to notice or be affected. Our conversation is light and easy. Anna chimes in here and there. The food is out of this world. Alice, their private chef, has been with them since before Anna was born and knows how to serve up a gourmet meal. When my stomach is about to burst, and Anna yawns at the table, I say goodnight to Jonathon and put Anna to bed. When I return, he’s nowhere to be found. The curiosity in me wants to sneak back down in the basement to see what was behind that door, but I decide against it.
On the way back to the guesthouse, I reach for my phone. I put it on silent during dinner so I wouldn’t be distracted. There’s a missed text from Chase.
Chase your boyfriend: Hey, can you relay a message to the donuts you got me? Tell them I miss them and can’t stop thinking about licking them clean. Thanks.
Chase your boyfriend: Oh, yeah, sorry. Hope you’re doing good too.
I feel like a jerk for blowing him off the last couple of days. My run-in with Jax’s mom messed me up. I’m confused and torn. I want something I worry I can’t have. Another text pings through—a meme of a dancing donut. I shake my head and chuckle softly. I finally give in and reply.
Me: Sorry to break it to you, but the donuts actually swing the other way. I licked all their icing off and they loooooooved it. They’re just bare donuts now.