“You’re never going to change. You’re always going to be this insecure guy who’s too afraid to let someone love you or ever understand how special it is to love someone. You’re too conceited and selfish. You’ll live your whole life dragging nameless women in and out of your bed and you’ll always be lonely. The way you treat people, that’s how you should be treated.”
I’ve always had my issues with Hannah. Even though we’ve become closer the last couple months. But she’s never spoken to me like this. Never looked at me with such disgust. She’s right, though. I’ve done things I’m not proud of, but I can’t take any of it back. And maybe those mistakes are reason enough not to deserve love. I’ll always be someone’s one night stand. I look over at Bridget. Tears shed down her cheeks. I want so damn bad to bring her into my arms and make all her pain go away, but I’m the one causing it.
I turn to Hannah. “You’re right. I’m exactly the kind of guy you’ve pinged me to be. I’ve done a lot of shady shit in my past. And I’m not sorry about it. But people change. They find someone who makes them realize what it’s like to be loved. To want to be someone completely different. Better. And it makes them fucking change. Because their life depends on that one person to breathe. I may not deserve happiness, and I sure deserve your hate, but I’m done letting you tell me I don’t know how to love. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t feel so broken right now.”
My focus lands on Bridget. “I screwed up. I know that. I thought I was protecting us. I made a mistake.”
“A mistake?”
“Yeah! A fucking mistake! I was confused. Scared. Fuck, my lifelong friendship was on the line.”
“You call him your friend? All you did was lie to him too—”
I step closer to her, but Hannah throws her hands up, pushing me back. “Stay away from her, Chase.”
“I don’t want anyone but you. Since the moment you walked into my life, I’ve wanted nothing but. I’ll accept the damage with Kip. I’ll come clean and fight for us. But I won’t accept the damage with you. I haven’t slept since you left. I just need for you to understand—”
This time it’s Bridget who shoves me. “I won’t fall for your lies anymore. I knew this wouldn’t work. I convinced myself you weren’t the person I immediately labeled you as?a player.” I open my mouth to argue back, but she cuts me off. “I even played along with your game because I enjoyed the attention. I’ve been so shut off for so long, it felt good. I knew I wouldn’t keep it, but I indulged in it. Pretend it was real then move on. But you pushed it. You made me feel more than I wanted to.” Her voice rises. “You don’t get to act like the hero here. You’re the villain. You took something that didn’t belong to you and treated it like a toy.”
“I never—”
“You did! Let’s find the most wounded girl in the room and see how much we can mess with her?”
“Bridget, stop.”
“I told you to leave me alone, but you wouldn’t. You insisted on pushing me. For what? Just to break me—”
“I’m serious, knock it off.” I try to reach for her again, but she swats my hand away.
“No. What was I? A game? A notch on your player’s bedpost? Did it feel good to brag to your friends how you fooled me into falling for you? Was I at least good enough to make it memorable—”
“I fucking love you. Stop this!” My voice blasts across the backyard. Kip is at my back, grabbing my shoulder.
“Dude, what the hell’s going on? Are you seriously harassing my cousin?” He looks back and forth, his eyes bouncing between us. The wheels start to turn. His hands clench into fists as his laid-back smile disappears. He’s figured it out. “No… It’s you?” He gets in my face, and I don’t move or stop him. “Tell me it’s not you messing with my cousin. Fucking tell me, man.”
Kip and I met in first grade. The resident bully was about to take my lunch and pummel me into the ground. He stepped in and saved me and my turkey burger. Since that day, we’ve been best friends. No matter our differences, we’ve stuck together. I’ve had the best moments of my life with him by my side. And I know, when I answer, it’s going to erase everything.
I glance over at Bridget. But she refuses to look at me. Every particle of my being begs for her to stand by me, by us. I’m willing to fight for us, why won’t she?