Antichrist

I straighten my shoulders and rub the tears from my cheeks before dipping my finger into the holy water and crossing myself.

I suck in the cigarette smoke and exhale before dropping it into the font filled with the Lord’s potion. “Forgive me, Father, for I’m absolutely about to sin…”

“That’s my girl.” Ma follows closely behind, but I already know where the boys will be.

The Cathedral is as old as time, but it has three bedrooms out the back, an office, a kitchen, bathroom, and, well… the gallows down below.

I shove open the doors past the confessional and take the concrete steps one at a time. The deeper I get, the darker it becomes. It’s not until I’m on the last step that the fire lanterns hanging on the empty cold walls offer me warmth from their light. Ma is no longer behind me, but I knew she wouldn’t be. She came for me and for me only, I know that. I know that if anyone ever hurt me, she would be the first person to fire the next bullet, and for that reason and that reason only do I suddenly have the courage to do what I’m about to do.

My heels clap against the cement, echoing through the walls as I make my way farther down to the very place that has haunted my sleep every single night since.

The first thing I notice is the naked body standing on the gallows, the second is the smell of blood hitting cement, and the third is the silence.

The sheer silence is what worries me most.

Niko sits in a chair directly in front, but The Knights surround him in a half circle, and Jer and Mal on either side. I ignore anything and everything besides Niko, because what the fuck is going on?

“Just in time.”

I step farther into the space. There’s a voice deep inside my mind that’s telling me to run. Run away from whatever it is that you just walked in on because this isn’t something you want to know about, much less see.

“What’s happening?”

“Come here.” The words leave Niko’s lips effortlessly, and without realizing it, my feet start carrying me to where he sits. He gestures up to the body. “I mean, it’s not like you haven’t seen Luca naked before, right?”

I wince, and as soon as I’m close enough to Niko, I turn around and my eyes collide with Luca, who’s hanging from the wood archway by his bound wrists. Half of his face is swollen and bruised, his lip split, and blood drips down the side of his mouth.

I turn back over my shoulder. “What’s happening?” As much as I love seeing Luca the way he is, there’s an itch of fear that won’t stop itching. “Nik, he will kill me next time.”

Niko laughs so manically his straight teeth flash and his dimple sinks into his cheek. The Knights don’t move, not even his old man who usually has a lot to say about everything. Niko stops laughing and his attention is back on me. I shuffle in my place once again, unable to maintain eye contact for too long. “He won’t ever touch you again.”

“The girls,” I whisper, my lashes tapping against my cheekbones when I blink.

Nik rolls his eyes. “You can save them. But for now, Mer, you can finish this.” He holds my stare, handing me a blade, the same one we used this morning.

I stare between him and the knife before settling back on him. Slowly, I shake my head. “You know that’s not me.”

“After everything?” Nik reaches for it, and when our fingers graze against each other, my stomach hits the floor.

How can one person hold so much power over me for so long? The flame never burned out. If anything, it grew into an inferno and burned everything else to the ground. Luca’s rose garden in the process.

His fingers squeeze mine, willing me to look up at him. “Baby, you sure?”

“I’m sure.” I slowly remove my fingers from his, desperate for the burning to stop. “I have a request, though.”

His head tilts in a way that would be terrifying to other people. “What?”

I turn to face Luca and take my time as my eyes travel up and down his bleeding and battered body. “Pin his corpse to the ceiling.”

Even in his final seconds, I see his hatred for me. Luca’s eyes turn to slits, and I’d bet my bottom dollar that if he didn’t have that gag in his mouth, he would be calling me every single name under the sun right now.

Stepping up onto the platform, I circle him, my Louboutin’s crushing the already partly dried blood that’s crusted over. I wonder how long they’ve had him like this. I stop when I’m standing directly in front of him. Bringing my hand to the side of his face, I dip my finger into the blood that’s sliding down the side of his temple from the open wound that’s weeping.