Antichrist

My chest rises and falls, my eyes narrowing on Niko.

“You gonna play nice?”

I nod slowly, peering up at him through my lashes.

“That’s my girl,” he whispers over my lips so low only I can hear.

When his hands leave my body, I ram my knee up into his crotch and run straight for Cece. Like a fucking banshee, I fly through the air, stumbling to the floor on top of her as I rear my fist back and slam it into her face.

“You traitorous bitch! I trusted”—another punch—“you! You were my sister, and you betrayed me for what?” I’m being lifted in the air again by large hands on my hips.

Niko grabs me from the back of my neck, turning me toward the older men and women sitting on the other side of the church, watching the shit show calmly. Everything slows. Suddenly, I can’t breathe in enough air, and the fact that these strange people are sitting there watching me, unfazed by the commotion, is enough to make me stop.

“She’s perfect.”

My eyes shoot to where the words came from, and I find myself staring at a man with golden-blond hair, deep-brown eyes, and skin that would otherwise be smooth if it weren’t for the full beard he wears.

“You see this, baby?” Niko growls into my ear, shaking my head with a fistful of my hair. “Meet your new husband.”

My world stops.

“And you see that man sitting behind him?”

I don’t want to look beyond the blond man, because what the fuck does Niko mean, my new husband?

“That’s Daddy.”

My throat dries and my knees begin to buckle from all of the information Niko just dumped onto my lap.

He shoves me forward. “Fucking take her.”

The words sting as tears prick the corners of my eyes. Niko slowly steps backward, never moving his focus from me.

“I’ve had my fill and my job is done.”

“Nik.” I wince, reaching for him. “Please don’t.” My head shakes violently as if it will make him change his mind. As if my whole world isn’t crumbling around my feet. We’ve fought a lot over the years, but never have I felt the absence that those words left in my gut. “Please, I can’t go through it again.”

Niko’s mouth flatlines. “Then maybe they’ll kill you instead.”

My heart fractures in my chest as I watch him walk down the aisle with Jer, Ari, and Cece. Just as the doors open, Niko tucks Cece beneath his arm and the Cathedral doors slam closed behind them. My knees finally give way, and I fall to the floor with fat, ugly tears falling over my cheeks.

“Baby girl, it was out of his hands. Please believe that.” Ma drops down beside me, pushing my hair away from my face. She leans in close until her lips touch my ear and she whispers…

Two Years Later

I stare back at myself through the long oval mirror, touching the silk gown that clings to my petite curves. Niykee Heaton sings seductively in the background, her words digging their claws into parts of my soul that have been dead for two years. There’s a small diffuser in the corner of my room that dispels a sweet aroma continuously, and all I can think about is what’s on my finger. I look between the emerald-cut on my wedding finger and the piece of paper that’s lying on the dressing table beside me. It took one year to renovate the Cathedral, turning it into a home. It was easy, considering the damn thing belonged to me. As in my family.

Speaking of…

I swipe across my phone and hit speaker. “Papa.”

The word should feel foreign on my tongue, considering it’s not a word I’ve said often, but after my extreme and embarrassing meltdown two years ago, it wasn’t Ma who picked me up. It was my father. I knew the second I looked into his eyes that I could trust him the way I’ve never trusted another. He cradled me against his chest like a newborn baby, and in the midst of my world falling apart, it was him who caught the pieces I so recklessly threw out. Not one word was spoken as he took me to his car, put my seat belt on, and then once he had spoken with Ma, he slid into the seat beside me and we drove to a hotel in the city. I didn’t speak for one week. I reached for the one thing that helped me through Luca, but it was gone. The whole podcast was gone, as if it never existed.

I tap on my phone and open the app. Every day for the past two years I have waited for another episode to load. Nothing. Maybe she died, maybe she quit, or maybe I was her only listener, but to me, she was everything. Her voice spoke to me in a way that most could never.