Cease Fire (Blackbridge Security 9)

Instead, I spend the drive home hyperfocused on the road because somehow seeing the sonogram makes the child inside of me more real despite having felt him kick a couple of times in the last couple of weeks.

Home is lonely and sad, but the only other place I’d rather be is in Kit’s arms. That’s not even remotely an option, and I don’t think begging the man to forgive me would work. I hurt him before and it took eight years before the man was willing to look at me again.

I have absolutely no idea how I’m supposed to fix this situation.

Hell, I don’t even know if I can.

Chapter 35

Kit

I didn’t know how strong I was until I was able to walk out of the doctor’s office without looking back. I felt no joy in walking away from her. It didn’t feel like a win.

I was miserable before, and I’m even more miserable now.

Seeing her and not touching anything but her back as we walked from the waiting room just wasn’t enough.

Hearing that she has lost weight, and from the sound of it this isn’t the first time, gutted me. Is she not eating? Is she still getting sick? Is it somehow my fault? Would things be better if I hadn’t forced her hand?

The sonographer said everything looks great. The baby is measuring how he should, but what if she’s wrong? What if my actions have somehow compromised the health of my child?

“And this one,” Jude says, turning the magazine so I can see it.

“There are reports about an uncommon amount of misfires,” I say distractedly, looking at the rifle he’s showing me. “I wouldn’t recommend it.”

Jude nods, turning the magazine back so only he can see it.

“Hmm,” Brooks says from the other side of the room. “Congrats, man. A son.”

I look over at him, but he’s slow to lift his eyes from his phone.

I’m not sure I told anyone about the sonogram being yesterday, but Wren knew and that means he could’ve announced it to everyone. He’s selective about sharing news.

Brooks registers my confusion. “You didn’t see her post?”

I blink at him.

“Jules’s post?” He turns his phone around, and I see a quick glimpse of the black-and-white picture I stared at for an hour before climbing out of my truck and coming back into the office. “She tagged you. You didn’t get the notification?”

I shake my head, my pulse kicking up. “I deleted all of my social media a long time ago.”

I don’t know that I’ve scrolled through anything for years now. It seemed like a time suck.

I pull out my own phone when Brooks makes it clear that he’s not going to expend any effort to get up from the sofa so I can see the information on his phone.

It takes a minute for the app to download, but my phone automatically remembers my login info from face recognition.

I go right to her profile, my mind not really understanding exactly what I’m looking at.

Jules Warren is with Kit Riggs

Meet John Christopher Riggs!

My heart starts to race. I told her to tell my family. There was no caveat to tell the world.

John is her dad’s name, and I can see her being the type to honor the father she lost when she was very young. I go by Kit, which is short for Christopher, and of course that’s my last name.

This isn’t just a peace offering. It’s her way of acknowledging that not only am I the father but I’m worthy of being a namesake. I know her well enough to know this isn’t something she’d do to try and keep me from being mad at her.

I keep scrolling, reading the comments.

Megan: Congrats!

Paul: Lucky man!

I narrow my eyes at that comment, trying to figure out who the hell he is and if he needs to have his ass beat.

Cherise: I knew you guys would end up together! The way he always looked at you…

Susan: Going to be one good-looking kid!

Samuel: Took the man long enough. Guess his balls finally dropped.

Tammy: First child? Haven’t you guys been together since high school?

Audrey: @Tammy, that’s rude.

Tammy: Rude? If I had Kit Riggs in my bed, I’d be pregnant every day of my adult life. Have you seen him lately? Just search #BlackbridgeSpecial. You’ll understand.

Brooks snorts. He must be reading the comments as well.

“I think it’s a nice name,” Jude says, looking down at his own phone. “It’s strong and demands respect.”

“I didn’t know what she picked,” I confess, feeling like a complete asshole because even with this post, I don’t think it’s enough to go to her even though my body is tight with the tension of wanting to do just that.

Silence fills the room. Jude is the first one to speak. “I waited a long time to find the right woman to love. I could’ve easily looked at the surface level of what Parker wanted. If I did that, I wouldn’t be planning my entire future with her in mind.”