She tilts her head. “Do you regret quitting?”
I shrug. “Regret it... never. This... you... the kids... that makes me happy. Do I feel guilty sometimes? I do... I know I shouldn’t, but it’s hard sometimes being here and knowing my brothers are fighting and I’m not there to help...even though I know what I’m doing from the compound is important too... it’s just different.”
Emery is quiet, no doubt reflecting on everything she just learned. I’ve kept it to myself for so long. This probably wasn’t the best way to tell her.
She puts her cheek against my chest. I look at Hunter and Avery, and they’re still playing with the ball. “Okay, what’s wrong?”
I know my wife, and there’s something on her mind. I thought I’d let her come to me with it, but she obviously needs some pushing.
“I have something to tell you.”
I laugh at the rigid tone in her voice. She’s actually nervous about this, and there’s no reason for her to be. She can tell me anything. “You can tell me anything... except that you’re pregnant,” I joke.
Her whole body freezes against mine, and my mouth goes dry. Oh hell, no. I pull back and search her face. “Are you pregnant?”
She bites on to her lower lip and nods her head slowly.
Emotions from all ranges of the spectrum hit me. I’m happy, excited, scared, worried. It’s all right there.
She looks at me nervously. “Please, don’t be mad or upset.”
I know I need to man up here. The thought of her going through it all again is smothering to me, but I need to be strong for her. I lean down and kiss her. She moans, and I deepen the kiss, putting all my love, every emotion, into it. When I pull back, breathless, I lean my forehead against hers. “I’m not mad or upset. I’m happy. You... our family, makes me happy. I’ll just have a talk with the doctor and tell him we need to speed things up this time.”
She laughs, and I take in the way she’s absolutely glowing. I should have known something was up. She pats me on the chest. “I don’t think it works that way, Nash.”
I shrug my shoulders. “It will. I don’t want to see you in pain like that again.”
She looks at me with a crease in her forehead. “I don’t even remember it.”
I wait for her to laugh, but she doesn’t. My mouth falls open. “You don’t remember it?”
This time she does laugh and shakes her head. “No, I don’t remember the pain at all. You know what I remember about that day? I remember seeing you and Hunter holding our daughter for the first time. I remember you with a tear on your cheek because you felt so much love and emotion that you couldn’t hold it in. I remember you holding me, Hunter, and Avery all together on that little hospital bed and never feeling more loved than I did in that moment. That’s what I remember, Nash.”
I’m looking at her with such awe. I still don’t know what I did to deserve her, but I’m a lucky man. “Fuck, I love you, baby.”
For the first time, she doesn’t get on to me for cursing in front of the kids. She puts her arms around my waist. “I love you too, Nash.”
I kiss her one more time. “Okay, so are we telling them they’re going to have a little brother or sister?”
She looks at me excitedly. “Yes, let’s do it.”
And together, hand in hand, we join our kids, and I’m once again in awe that this is my life. Emery saved me by giving me a second chance, and I’ll never take that for granted.