Amém.
Pai nosso, que estais no céu
Santificado seja o Vosso nome…’
‘Is he starting all over again?’
‘Priests have been known to recite the Lord’s Prayer up to thirty times in a row, especially in situations of carnal temptation.’
‘Carnal temp- I’ll give him carnal temptation!’
Fuming, I marched over to the young man kneeling on the ground.
‘…Venha a nós o Vosso reino,
Seja feita a Vossa vontade…’
‘Hey, you!’
‘…Assim na terra como no céu.
O pão nosso de cada dia nos dai hoje…’
‘I’m talking to you! Open your peepers!’
‘…Perdoai as nossas ofensas,
‘Assim como nós perdoamos a quem nos tem ofendido.
E não nos deixeis cair em tentação…’
‘I’m not going to bloody tempt you! I don’t even want to tempt you! And trust me, you most certainly don’t want to be tempted by me!’
‘Mas livrai-nos do mal,
Amém.
Pai nosso, que estais no céu…’
‘Are your ears corked or something?’
‘…Santificado seja o Vosso nome,
Venha a nós o Vosso reino…’
I decided that extreme measures were necessary. Taking a few determined steps, I positioned myself behind the priest.
‘Mr Linton?’ Mr Ambrose stepped forward. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Getting this gentleman’s attention,’ I told him, and booted the priest firmly in the backside. He ended his prayer in a yelp and flew forward, landing face first in the mud. Spitting out dirt and a few surprised bugs, he rolled around to stare up at me with a mixture of horror and incredulity.
‘You…you are real?’
‘As real as it bloody gets!’
The priest’s eyes wandered up and down my figure, cautiously.
‘You are not a figment of my sinful, lust-filled imagination?’