‘Of course.’ I twirled my revolver. ‘Do you doubt my qualifications?’
‘Not at all! Not at all!’ Raising his hand again, he quickly retreated a few steps. ‘I doubt nothing whatsoever. Everything is perfectly fine.’
‘Good. Well, I suppose we’d better continue then. We’ve lost enough time as it is. We don’t want to have too much of a delay. I’m sure the carriage company would prefer us not to derail their schedule, eh?’
I nudged the leg of the coachman who, during all this time, had been sitting on his box, frozen as a statue.
‘Err…um…schedule? Right. Schedule. Of course.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Everyone, please get in. We’ll be continuing on our way.’ His eyes darted to me, and to the gun I realised I was still holding in my hand. ‘That is, if that’s all right with you, Sir. I mean, we can wait here a little, or have a picnic, if you prefer.’
I grinned. ‘Maybe later. Right now, I think we should be going.’
‘Of course, Sir! Right away, Sir!’
Sir…
My grin widened until it nearly split my face apart. Ah, what a sweet feeling. Did Mr Ambrose feel like this all the time? No wonder he insisted on tyrannising his employees. Being the tough man was fun. Even if, technically, you didn’t possess all anatomic requirements for the job.
Whistling, I got into the carriage, and it set off. I was in such a good mood that it took me a few moments to realise not all my fellow passengers were gazing at me with a mix of fear and apprehension. There was one among them who had a very different look on her face.
‘Oh…oh, Mr Linton!’
Crap. No, please don’t let this be what I think it is! Crap, Crap, Crap!
Miss Emilia Harse, her big eyes shining with adoration, leant across the bench towards me. ‘Mr Linton, you were so brave! You acted when nobody else had the courage to protect me.’
‘Well, I wouldn’t say I was protecting you, per se. It was more about—’
‘And modest, too!’ A blush rose to her cheeks, and she gifted me with a smile I would dearly have liked to return to the gift shop. ‘Oh, Mr Linton. You’re the first true man I’ve met in my whole life.’
‘Then I pity you,’ I told her earnestly, edging away. ‘From the bottom of my heart.’
She didn’t exactly get the intended meaning.
‘No need.’ Ignoring her mother’s indrawn breath, she reached out to touch my hand. ‘Not now that I’ve met you.’
Oh God, please help me. I know I’ve never believed in you, but please prove me wrong and work a miracle. A nice thunderbolt to strike me dead would do, thanks.
How could it possibly get any worse than this?
A moment later I found out, when Mrs Harse leant forward and smiled at Emilia and me, motherly love shining in her eyes.
‘I must say, I am also very glad that fate caused our paths to intersect, Mr Linton. At first I wasn’t sure about you, but you’ve shown yourself to be a fine man.’
Her eyes wandered from me to Emilia and back again, and
she nodded in approval. In approval!
Satan, if God can’t help me, maybe you’re available? I need help now!
Thank heavens we would be going our separate ways soon. They’d be going wherever they were planning to, while I’d be off onto the channel ferry. The sooner I put an ocean between me and Miss Emilia Harse, the better!
*~*~**~*~*
‘Do Re Mi Fa Sol La Ti Do….Do Re Mi Fa Sol La Ti Do…’
Groaning, I pressed my hands over my ears and tried to ignore the pounding in my head. An ocean between me and Miss Harse wasn’t nearly far enough! She had been going on like this all morning, and I desperately wanted to catch a few more hours of sleep before the ferry’s departure. Normally, I would have marched down the coaching inn’s corridor, kicked open the door to Miss Emilia Harse’s room, and sung, ‘Do Re Me The Fa Vor To Shut Up!’
But, considering the adoring way the girl had gazed at me as we’d exited the coach a few hours earlier and the authorities had come running to pluck the highwayman from the roof, I had better keep my distance from Miss Emilia. If I came to her bedroom at this hour, she might just get the wrong idea.