Way of the Shadows (Shadow Agents 8)

Keeping the blanket with her, Noelle sat up. She brought her knees in front of her and watched Thomas.

“I didn’t...mean for that to happen.” His voice was low, rasping, and his shoulders were tense. “I know I pounced on you and—”

“If this is the part where you apologize,” she said, a bit surprised by the bite in her own voice, “don’t. I knew exactly what I was doing and exactly what I wanted.”

He looked back at her.

“You,” Noelle told him simply. “I wanted to be with you.”

He swallowed. She saw the faint movement of his Adam’s apple. “There are things you don’t know about me.”

She lifted her brows at that. “I’d say I know you pretty well by now.” Biblically well.

He glanced toward the fire once more. “You know what you read in the files Mercer gave you, but with me... He wouldn’t have shown you everything.”

Noelle forced herself to take slow, deep breaths. “And why not?”

The flames crackled.

“My father was a solider.” Thomas spoke slowly. “He was a damn good fighter and a good man.” His hand lifted and he stared at it for a second. Then he struck out with a powerful force that seemed to whip through the air around him. His hand was perfectly straight as it moved in a series of fast, hard glides—attacks that were both beautiful...and brutal. “He taught me how to fight when most kids were learning how to read and write. He wanted me to be prepared, always prepared for what life might throw at me.”

She waited.

“My mother didn’t like being a soldier’s wife. She left, and she took me with her.” His jaw hardened. “And he died on his next mission.”

“I’m sorry.” The words felt so hollow to her.

“My dad was good at what he did. His walls were full of medals and commendations. But when he lost us, I think he just stopped caring.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I realized then ju

st how dangerous love could be to a man. Love makes you weak. Vulnerable.”

She shook her head, even though he couldn’t see the move. “It doesn’t have to be like that.”

“It does...when love becomes an obsession. When it’s all you think about. When you can’t do your mission because you’re seeing a woman in your head. You’re worried about her, thinking about her, and you can’t protect your team, much less yourself.”

She didn’t know what to say then.

“I intended to live my life without any commitments. The missions were my life, and women... Sex was a necessity I took care of when I needed it.”

Noelle stiffened. Her hold on the cover tightened. Okay, he’d better not have just said she was some kind of itch he’d taken care of. The man needed to think again. He wasn’t—

He faced her. “You’re different, and I can’t afford the weakness that you make me feel.”

That was both good and insulting. “I’m not a weakness to you.”

“Yes,” he said softly. “You are. More than you know.” He rolled back his shoulders. “I should’ve known once wouldn’t be enough with you.”

She distinctly remembered at least two times. During the third, she’d—

“I should have kept my hands off you, but I couldn’t.”

Noelle cleared her throat. “I didn’t want them off. I wanted you.”

He shook his head. “No, you just wanted to stop being afraid, and I was close and convenient.”

Oh, the hell no, he hadn’t just said that. Noelle jumped to her feet. The cover almost fell, so she scrambled to keep it over her. Then she stalked toward Thomas, and she jabbed him in the chest with her index finger. “Listen up, soldier,” Noelle snapped at him.

His brows lifted.