Glitter and Gunfire/Bulletproof (Shadow Agents 4)

Her eyes widened. Mercer’s cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were bright with emotion.

“I could get you in that operating room, too, but Cassidy, you don’t want to see that. You don’t want to see them cutting into Cale.”

A scream was breaking inside her, but she clamped her lips together and held it back. When she was sure it wouldn’t burst free, Cassidy whispered, “The doctor said...he wanted me to call in Cale’s sister because...” It hurt to say it. “Cale might not wake up. His injuries are so bad.” Her eyes squeezed shut. “I could see him dying, right in front of me. I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t do anything.”

Mercer’s arms wrapped around her, and he pulled her against his chest. He...hugged her?

She pressed her face against his shoulder. He’d hugged her at her mother’s funeral, hugged her just like this. So tightly. As if he never wanted to let her go.

Only he’d pushed her away after that day, pushed her away for so long.

“Your ranger’s going to be fine,” he promised, his voice gruff. “That man isn’t about to give up without a fight. EOD agents are tougher than anyone else out there. He’ll pull through.”

I...love you.

“He doesn’t know,” Cassidy told him, her voice a mere breath of sound.

Mercer eased back—just a little—to stare down at her. “Know what?”

“That I love him.” It hurt. He’d told her, he’d made sure that she knew, but she hadn’t been able to say those three words to him.

“You’ll tell him.” Mercer gave a firm nod. “When he comes out of surgery, when he opens his eyes and calls for you, you’ll tell him then.”

She wanted to believe him. Once, she would have believed anything that Mercer said.

But she wasn’t a child anymore. And Mercer’s word wasn’t law, even if he wanted it to be. “Genevieve planned it all. I thought...I thought I could help her. That she needed me.”

“But she was just trying to use you in order to get to me.” A muscle flexed along his jaw. “It had to be the agents I sent to guard you. She figured out what—who—you were because of them. She traced them back to me. I put you at risk, the same way I always have. First Marguerite, then you.” His hands tightened on her. “I never wanted to hurt either of you.”

His voice had broken at the end.

She’d never seen him broken.

“After your mother was killed, I tried so hard, I swear I did. I tried so hard to protect you. But I just made a prison for you—one that you couldn’t escape.”

Because guards had always been there.

Men and women who’d jumped at Mercer’s command.

Until Cale.

“I don’t know how to open the prison. I don’t know what to do.”

Mercer didn’t know?

“I do.” She straightened her shoulders. “You just let me go.”

His head bowed. “I want you to be safe.” A ragged breath escaped him. “And I want you happy.”

She was as far from happy as she could possibly get. Grief was a knife in her gut, twisting and cutting away at her. The waiting room was empty—just her and Mercer. She had no idea how he’d arranged that. Mercer and his strings.

They sat together. The silence was thick and hard.

She couldn’t keep her eyes off those operating room doors. “Tell me again that he’ll be okay.”

“He will be.”

She wanted to believe him. Mercer could move mountains. Once she’d thought her father could make anything happen.