“Progress,” the Captain murmured. “You might not think so, but you’ve changed since I first met you. While you’re still an asshole, you’re at least starting to open
your mind to the possibility that people can care about it. And you can care about them.”
Tears threatened at the corners of my eyes as I watched the air shimmer around him. “I always lose the people I care about.”
“You never lose them. They stay with you—you just can’t see them anymore.”
My chest rose and fell with a strained laugh. “Well, that’s bullshit, but thanks for trying. And stop spreading rumors I’ve gone soft.”
“What do you think I’m doing here now? Staying.”
“You’re literally fading out in front of my eyes. You don’t get to stay, even in my dreams.”
He shrugged. “Maybe that’s the only place I get to stay. But keep it clean, all right? I have a reputation to protect.”
His form went a little hazy, like I could reach out and stick my hand through the middle of his chest. Not that I wanted to. It would mean this wasn’t real, and I needed it to be real more than I needed to breathe right now.
“How much time do we have left?” I asked.
“Enough. Now, promise me again you’ll take out Esteban. Yourself. If you can manage it, don’t even let Fin in the same room when you do it.”
I wiped away a stray tear that escaped. “I already promised I would. Geez, Old Man, stop mothering me.”
He reached out and took my hand in his and I focused on keeping it solid, not letting my fingers slip through the smoke of his own. “I just needed to make sure you understand how important it is that you not let him face Esteban.”
I nodded. “I got it. Don’t let Fin anywhere near Esteban when I cut off his head and feed it to a pack of wild dogs.”
His eyes crinkled as he laughed. “Sometimes, not when it’s used against me, but sometimes, I appreciate how vicious you are.”
“I try, you old sweet talker.”
The lights flickered around the room and I stared straight at his face, still feeling his fingertips against my own. He was my friend. Yet another person in my life I’d lost.
“It’s time for me to go,” he whispered and reached out to drag me into his arms.
“You sure you can’t stay? There’s no magic I can do to help you, or keep you here with me?”
He shook his head as it rested on my shoulder. Side by side this hug was awkward, but I didn’t care as I clutched him to me.
“Remember your promise,” he whispered, his voice growing fainter.
“I will. Don’t worry. Is there anything you need me to do for you? Any last wish, or anything you want me to delete from your browser history before someone finds it?”
He chuckled in my ear, and I reveled in the tightening of his arms around me. “No, thank you. Fin knows all my final wishes, and I’ve never owned a computer. I promise, I was prepared to go at any moment and somehow, I always knew it would be Esteban who took me down. I just wish I could have gotten him at the same time. Then it might have been worth it.”
“Fin will miss you. I’ll tell him you said goodbye.”
His face started to disappear, and I squeezed my eyes shut, focusing on his torso under my hands.
“Be nice to your mate. He doesn’t even know where to begin when it comes to you.”
The Captain disappeared completely, and I blinked my eyes open to stare at the sun-streaked ceiling of the cottage.
Chapter Three
WHEN I WOKE, TEARS were pouring down my face. My neck, my shirt, my ears, even my hair were soaked with them.
I spent a couple of moments forcing myself to breathe, and remembering where I was, and why. The Captain’s presence was a lingering memory in the back of my mind.