Only One Forever (Only One 8)

“Get off the couch.” I motion with my hand, and she literally ignores me as she looks at Alex. “Mac.”

“It’s okay,” Alex says. “She just missed me.”

“Well, it’s been what, a month,” I remind her, sitting on the couch in front of her. “I think that is the longest we’ve ever gone without seeing each other.”

“Really?” she asks, and I nod. “So how was today?”

“It was strange,” I admit to her. “It’s like I knew in my heart that I wasn’t going back.”

“Did you tell anyone?” she asks me as she rubs Mac.

“Leo was the only one there when I got in.” I rub my hands over my face. “I think he’s leaving also.”

“That’s going to be a sad day if both of you leave,” she says, and she isn’t wrong.

“I just …” I shake my head. It’s so fucking crazy that this morning I woke up with dread on my shoulders. I couldn’t even breathe, and suddenly, it’s like everything is washed away. “I don’t know what’s the right or wrong thing to do.”

“Dylan, you know you are allowed to make mistakes, right? It’s okay for you to fuck up.”

“I just, I feel like a traitor if I walk away from the team,” I admit.

“What about the fact that they promised you the world and never cashed in on it?” She sits up, her voice going loud. “Everything that you did for the organization. Every single time they said that it would be different, and it wasn’t.” She shakes her head. “You need to think of yourself for once. What does Dylan want?” she asks, and all I can do is sit here and think about the question, wondering if I can put into words what I really want. “If you can picture yourself in five years?” she asks. “Where do you see yourself?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Never really thought about it,” I tell her. “I guess I’ll still be playing hockey. Married for sure.” My stomach sinks for a second, making me stop talking to look up at her. She sits there, not saying anything, her eyes blinking really fast. She does that when she is fighting off tears. “I definitely want to have kids. That is for sure.”

Chapter 4

Alex

When I asked him the question, I didn’t know what I was expecting, if I’m being honest. I was trying to get him to talk things out and calm him down. It’s not like it’s the first time we’ve done this with each other. Even when I was thinking about taking the job with Wilson. I wasn’t sure I would be good enough for it or have the experience he needed to make it successful, so Dylan sat with me, and we talked things out. It was not supposed to be a loaded question, but the minute he said the words, my heart that was beating normally suddenly shattered in my chest. “I guess I’ll still be playing hockey. Married for sure.” The burning in my stomach rises to my throat as my nose starts to tingle, and my eyes start to burn with the tears that want to come. I blink them away rapidly the whole time, trying to breathe, but the tightness in my chest makes it so hard. And if I thought hearing those words gutted me, I was wrong. “I definitely want to have kids. That is for sure.” I felt like someone cut me off at the knees while kicking me in the chest. The pain was something that I have never felt in my whole life.

“It’s late.” I force the words out. “I’m going to bed.” I push up from the couch and hope like fuck I don’t fall down when I take the first step. I ignore his eyes, and if I could, I would run to my room. Instead, I look down at Mac. “Night, girl,” I say, walking and never turning back. I can feel his eyes staring at me. “Sleep tight.” I try to make the tremble of my voice not show. I try to ignore the pull to turn and take one more look at him, but I can’t because the tears are already rolling down my face.

I walk up the steps, and my stomach is in knots as I roll my lips, trying not to sob. My vision is blurry from the tears building up, ready to fall over. With every single step, my legs get heavier and heavier, and when I walk into my room, I close the door. It’s the first time I’ve ever done that. Usually, I leave the door open, and he comes in and chills with me while we watch television. But not tonight. Not now. I walk past my bed and into the walk-in closet that leads to the bathroom.

I turn on the shower at the same time that a sob escapes me. Hoping he doesn’t hear me, hoping that the shower drowns out the sound. He’s going to marry someone. I close my eyes as reality hits me. This time I have to hold on to the shower door because my legs do give out. My knees hit the floor, and then I turn to sit with my back against the wall facing the shower.