“Oh, it’s so pretty,” I say, looking down into the water seeing it on the floor before another wave comes and crashes.
“Let me go get it.” Taking off his shirt, he hands it to me. “Hold this,” he says and I grab his shirt. I watch him walk to the edge of the rocks and slowly slip into the water. The water reaches his waist as he turns around when the wave comes in, hitting his back. He reaches down into the water, picking the starfish up and holding it up so I can see it. “Hold it.” He holds it over his head for me when another wave comes and hits his back.
He gets up on the rocks, bringing it to me, and I hold it in my hand. The little spikes pinch my hands. “It’s so pretty.” I hand it back to him. “Go put it back where it was,” I say, and he gets back into the water. I watch him. “Put it back at the same place, so he knows where he is.”
He nods at me and bends to put him back in the water. He comes back out and we sit on the rocks as we watch the sun set. Neither of us says anything as each of us are lost in our thoughts. I don’t know what he’s thinking about but I catch glances over at him and each time my stomach flips and then my heart contracts in my chest. Finally, he gets up and holds out his hand to me. “We should get back for dinner,” he says softly, and I put my hand in his as he helps me climb down the rocks. I don’t know when it happens or how it happens, but when I look over at him, all I can do is watch him, and when I do this, I realize how unhealthy this is for me. How my longing for him from afar is doing nothing but making me want him even more.
I look down at my feet the rest of the walk back to the villa, the beach deserted now. All I can do is feel these things I can never do anything about. It makes the back of my neck heat and my stomach rises to my throat when I finally do say something. “I can’t do this anymore.” I stop walking, and I should have waited until I was at least closer to our villa before I said anything, but the words just came out before I could stop them. The waves in the distance slowly roll onto shore. It’s so peaceful yet painful. I look up at him, pushing my glasses on top of my head.
He just looks at me confused. “What do you mean, what can’t you do?”
“This being best friends with you.” I point at myself and then at him. “Being there for you all the time.” I look around to make sure that no one else is around. I don’t think I could handle that. “Always around, I just can’t do this anymore.” I blink away the tears starting to come, but in the darkness, I let them fall. My hand comes up, and I wipe the tear away from my cheek.
“What the hell are you talking about?” His eyes roam my face as worry fills his own face. No doubt he has no fucking idea what I’m talking about because how could he.
Here in the middle of the beach where we started a normal walk, I tell him what I’m pretty sure everyone already knows. Everyone but him. “I’m in love with you,” I say right before the lump starts to rise up to my throat, but I push through. “Every single part of my soul is in love with you, right down to my bones. I’m in love with you.” I finally let out the words. I avoid his eyes, not ready for what I’m going to see in them. When the lump in my throat grows bigger and bigger, I know I’m about to crumble, but I won’t do it in front of him. “And it’s time I stop loving you with the hope that you feel for me what I feel for you.” My heart feels like it’s shattering in my chest. “So …” I wipe the tear away when I see Michael walking out of his villa and headed toward us. Without knowing it, he is my saving grace. “I’m walking away. You should choose New York,” I say and take one look at him before running up toward Michael and leaving my heart in the middle of the beach.
Chapter 16
Dylan
I turn to chase after her but see Michael walking toward us. “You going to be sick?” he asks her, and she just rushes past him into Michael’s villa, slamming the door right behind her. My head is spinning around and around. “Guess she’s out for dinner,” he says, and I look at him and then look back at the door she just shut.