Only One Forever (Only One 8)

“What are you doing here?” she asks, and then her eyes suddenly lift and meet mine.

“Hi,” I say softly, picking up my hand, feeling so fucking awkward.

“Dylan.” She says my name, and my stomach sinks when she looks down. She takes a deep breath. “You shouldn’t be here.”

I wait for her to look up before I say the next thing. Once her eyes look up, I can see some tears in her eyes. My mouth goes dry all of a sudden, and my tongue feels like it’s fifty pounds. The back of my neck starts to heat as the nerves in my stomach take on an all-time high. I wasn’t this nervous throughout my whole hockey career, but now that I am ready to lay everything out to her, everything I thought I would say is gone. Except for the words, “We need to set the record straight.”

“There is nothing to say,” she says. “Well, that isn’t right.” She places her purse down on the first step toward the kitchen.

I watch her walk to the kitchen, her hands shaking when she reaches for the water bottle. “Alex, we need to talk.”

“We really don’t,” she replies calmly, and she turns around, looking at me. “I’m sorry.” Her voice stays monotone.

“Wait, what?” I asked, confused now.

“I burdened you with how I felt.” She walks over to the island and sets the water bottle down in front of her, holding the bottle with both hands. “I should have never told you.” The tears come to her eyes, but she blinks them away, and her lower lip trembles. “If I could take it back, I would.”

I put my hands on my hips, my nerves turning to anger. “Well, you did, and there is no way in fuck you are taking it back.”

Chapter 19

Alex

I watch him put his hands on his hips, and my whole chest feels tight. “Well, you did, and there is no way in fuck you are taking it back.” His voice is tight, and I put my hands on my hips. “Alex, you have to talk to me.” The lump in my throat fills up when his tone goes even softer. “It’s me.” His hands fall from his hips. “You can tell me anything.”

The beat of my heart starts to slow down when Mac knocks my hand. I look down at her, and tears suddenly fill my eyes. When I walked into the house and Mac came to greet me, I knew in my bones he was here. I should have known that he would have come straight here. I should have known, and maybe deep down, I was hoping he would. But seeing him standing here in front of me is more than I think I can bear. “Dylan, there really isn’t much more to say.” I say his name, and I can’t even look up at him. The embarrassment of my words two days ago rings in my ears. I blink away all the tears and finally move my eyes up to look at him, his own tears in his eyes. “I just need a couple of months,” I say. “And then we can go back to what it was before.”

“What if I don’t want that?” he says, and I swear I feel my knees buckle at his words. I just look at him. He stands there in jeans and a T-shirt, and my body aches for him. To touch his hand or even hug him, knowing his hugs pretty much always make things better. “What if I feel the same way?” I swallow, and the beating of my heart echoes so loud in my ears I’m not sure I heard him correctly. I don’t have a chance to ask him what he means because he just keeps talking. “What if I feel the same way?” One of my hands goes to my stomach as it sinks and then rises. “What if I’m in love with you, too?”

All I can do is shake my head, the tears escaping my eyes no matter how much I try to forbid it. No matter how much I try to fight it, they are stronger than me. “You don’t have to say that,” I say, not sure I can even look at him without falling apart in front of him. “You don’t have to say that just because I’m crying.”

“Alex.” His voice is tight, and I look up as he takes a step toward me. “You think I would declare my love for you just because you said it?” He shakes his head. “The past couple of weeks have been torture for me.” His own tears run down his face. “I was so fucking confused.” His voice trembles. “I didn’t know what was going on, and then I came here. When I was with you, it’s like all the pieces of all the puzzles finally clicked into place.” He takes a step forward. “I …” He chokes on his words now, and all I can do is shake my head, my heart not sure it can handle this.