“What do you mean?” I ask.
“You were that age, and your father …” he starts to say.
“He’s not my father,” I say, my voice tight.
“Relax there, you know what I mean,” my father says. “Like I was saying, he did things that are unspeakable and your mom shielded you until she couldn’t anymore. He never had that.” I listen to my dad. “So now it’s like you proving to him that no matter what, you’ll be there. And it’s going to take a lot more than you saying it for him to believe it.”
I pull into the driveway. “One day at a time,” I say, repeating the words he has always said to me.
“One day at a time,” he says, and I can even see him smiling. “Now go and gain some trust.”
“Love you, Dad,” I say.
“Love you more,” he says. “I’ll FaceTime you later.” I smile. He calls Maddox every single night, even if it’s for just a five-second conversation. It’s something that Maddox actually asks for.
“I’m home,” I say as soon as I walk into the house. I look up the stairs to see if anyone is upstairs and then hear Alex.
“In the kitchen,” she says, and I walk down the hall toward the kitchen and see her washing her hands. I walk to her, putting my hands on her hips. “Hi,” I say, bending and burying my face in her neck. “I missed you.”
“It’s been four hours.” She laughs and turns her head to the side to look at me, and I lean in to kiss her lips.
“It’s four and a half,” I say when I let her go and then lean in to kiss her again. “Where is Maddox?” I ask, looking to the living room and seeing it empty.
“He’s outside trying to teach Mac how to do the obstacle course that you guys built together,” Alex says, and I look out the window. Seeing him talking to Mac who just looks at him.
“How was today?” I ask her.
“It was interesting. He didn’t know why he needed two pairs of shoes for school, and then when I told him that we had to get him more shorts for school, he said he didn’t need them.”
“I mean.” I try not to laugh. “He has enough clothes for seven kids.”
She shrieks, “Go outside!” She points toward the back door. “He wants to go into the pool.”
“Go change and meet us there.” I smack her ass and then walk outside.
“So you are going to roll over,” he tells Mac, “and then jump over this.” He runs over to the cone. I have to say that with Mac, he lets his guard down. She’s his best friend, and Mac doesn’t leave his side. She doesn’t even care anymore about us. It’s all about Maddox.
“Hey,” I say. Mac looks at Maddox and then at me before she comes over to me. “Hey, princess.” I rub her neck and then look over at Maddox.
“Come here, buddy. I want to talk to you,” I tell him, and he puts his head down and comes to me.
“Are you mad?” he asks, and I shake my head.
“No,” I say, smiling, “but this morning, I was sad.” He looks at me with his eyebrows pinched together.
“Is it because I wet the bed?” he asks. “I’m sorry.”
“There is no need for you to be sorry,” I tell him. “I felt sad that you slept on the floor.”
“It was okay.” He tries to pretend that it meant nothing.
“When I was your age, I got into hockey summer camp,” I tell him, and he looks at me. “I was so happy because I got a whole bag of new equipment.” I smile, thinking back to that day. “I’d never had anything new. My mom would have to buy my stuff secondhand, or the church would give us stuff.” I sit on the grass, and he sits in front of me. “Then when I went home, my dad took my stuff away from me.” He just looks at me. “All my new stuff was gone.”
“Did you cry?” he asks, and I nod.
“When my new dad came to see me, Justin, he took me in his arms and told me that it wasn’t my fault.” I smile. “Just like when you wet the bed, it’s not your fault.”
“But,” he starts to say, “what if you get mad and then want me to leave?”
My heart stops in my chest. “There is nothing, and I mean nothing that you can do that will make me want you to leave. When you are hurt and you don’t come to me, I get sad. You know why?” He shakes his head. “Because it’s my job to make you better. It’s my job to hold your hand. It’s my job to hold you when you fall. It’s my job to read you a story at night. It’s my job to tuck you in at night.” I want to drag him to me and hug him, but I don’t want to push him. “So the next time …?”