Emily Rochester is a broken woman.
As broken as her daughter was when I first came to Coach House.
As broken as I was when I was in the foster care system. Maybe all of us are broken in our own ways. Maybe we’re all running from the demons in our past.
I get up from my seat and move to hers. And then I reach for her hand.
Emily stares down at it like she’s never seen a human hand before, then looks up into my eyes. “What are you doing?”
I push my hand toward her another inch.
After a long, breathless moment, she puts her hand in mine. It’s cold, though we’ve recently been in the Houston heat. She’s freezing to death.
“You’re going to get through this.”
Her chin dimples. “Am I?”
“Yes. I know it feels like you’ve been doing this alone, like no one will believe you, but that isn’t true. Not anymore. I’m here with you. And I want what’s best, not only for you, but for Paige. She deserves to have her mother back. She deserves a mother who isn’t terrified for her life.”
Emily takes a pinched breath. “I had to stay away. Do you understand? I had to stay away, and it’s been killing me.” One tear falls, then another and another until she’s weeping. “I’m sorry. All this—I’m sorry, Jane. I should have come to you without a gun like a normal person.”
“This isn’t a normal circumstance.” Emily’s eyes are the brightest blue, just like Paige’s, and they shine with her tears. “You must be so tired.”
She laughs through a sob. “I can hardly sleep. I should have gone farther than Eben Cape, but I couldn’t bear to be so far from Paige. I’ve been waiting for Joe to find me and finish what he started. Now he knows I’m here. I don’t have much time.”
“Listen.” I squeeze her hand. “I want to help you.”
“You don’t have to. I wasn’t going to shoot you no matter what you said.”
“I know. But I mean it. I’ll talk to Beau. I’ll tell him what you told me. I’ll help you. You don’t have to do this by yourself anymore.”
Emily pats my hand and wipes at her eyes. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“You were thinking of Paige.”
“Yeah.” She looks me in the eye. “I was.”
“So.” I get up and go back to my seat, giving her room to breathe. “Imagine we have Beau on our side. What’s next? How will he use his power, connections, and money to help fix this?”
It’s clear she’s thought about this for a long time. “I need to get proof of what Joe’s done. Not only killing Rhys, but all the smuggling and bribes. I won’t be able to live any kind of life unless he’s brought to justice. It’s my only hope.”
“And then afterward?”
Her expression clears, and Emily looks me in the eye with fresh determination. “I’m going to get my daughter back. I’m going to be Paige’s mother again.”
CHAPTER FOUR
Beau Rochester
The smell of burnt butter simmers in the air. A stack of blackened sandwiches sits on a plate beside the stove. An angry red mark across my forearm shows where I’d run into the smoking pot. That’s it. Grilled cheese sandwiches defeated me. I can admit that. Kitten’s the only one who’s eaten so far tonight. She’s still over by her food bowl, surveying the scene.
“I’m not that hungry,” Paige says.
She’s lying to make me feel better, which is a strange form of improvement. It’s been seventy-two hours since Jane Mendoza was driven away from the inn. I expected Paige and me to devolve into the furious battles we’d had in the beginning. Before Jane taught us how to behave in a civilized manner.
I use the spatula to lift my latest attempt. Black. “I don’t know why they keep burning.”
She offers a grim smile. “It’s fine.”
We’ve been on our best behavior, both of us pained and stoic in our grief. We want Jane back, for different reasons. Paige wants a caregiver who knows how to cook grilled cheese.
And I want the woman in my bed.
Oh hell, why lie about it? We want her back for the same damn reason. Because we love her. She became an intrinsic part of this family. There’s no single word that encompasses her role here. Mother. Wife. She was neither of those things, technically, but she was so much more than a nanny.
“Why did Jane leave?”
Because I sent her away. I can’t tell Paige the reason for that without scaring her. I’m starting another grilled cheese. I’m going to try adding more cheese this time.
“It was better for her to be home.”
“She was home with us.”
Paige folds her arms over her chest. Somehow, I’ll keep this grilled cheese from burning. I don’t know how I’m supposed to convince Paige that Jane belongs anywhere but here. She’ll never believe it. Maybe she’s right.